Charas-Project
Off-Topic => Creative arts => Topic started by: RockJohnAxe on April 07, 2009, 07:26:21 AM
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Hello all, This is a comic series ive been working on and thought i should share some.
Good Guys
(http://i284.photobucket.com/albums/ll11/RockjohnAxe/Charset1.jpg)
Bad Guys
(http://i284.photobucket.com/albums/ll11/RockjohnAxe/Charset2.jpg)
Please Note: Episode one was drawn at work on work time and in a Clean room where i have to wear a Suit/face Mask and Gloves and could only use Clean Room paper and Pen. But aside from that Enjoy!
Episode 1: Day of Muscle
Dude is On his way to meet a friend and gets Side-Tracked.
Part 1:
Page1
(http://i284.photobucket.com/albums/ll11/RockjohnAxe/Ep1P1.jpg)
Page2
(http://i284.photobucket.com/albums/ll11/RockjohnAxe/Ep1P2.jpg)
Page3
(http://i284.photobucket.com/albums/ll11/RockjohnAxe/Ep1P3.jpg)
Page4
(http://i284.photobucket.com/albums/ll11/RockjohnAxe/Ep1P4.jpg)
Page5
(http://i284.photobucket.com/albums/ll11/RockjohnAxe/Ep1P5.jpg)
Page6
(http://i284.photobucket.com/albums/ll11/RockjohnAxe/Ep1P6.jpg)
Page7
(http://i284.photobucket.com/albums/ll11/RockjohnAxe/Ep1P7.jpg)
Page8
(http://i284.photobucket.com/albums/ll11/RockjohnAxe/Ep1P8.jpg)
Page9
(http://i284.photobucket.com/albums/ll11/RockjohnAxe/Ep1P9.jpg)
Page10
(http://i284.photobucket.com/albums/ll11/RockjohnAxe/Ep1P10.jpg)
Page11
(http://i284.photobucket.com/albums/ll11/RockjohnAxe/Ep1P11.jpg)
Page12
(http://i284.photobucket.com/albums/ll11/RockjohnAxe/Ep1P12.jpg)
Part 2:
Page1
(http://i284.photobucket.com/albums/ll11/RockjohnAxe/1098_010.jpg)
Page2
(http://i284.photobucket.com/albums/ll11/RockjohnAxe/1098_011.jpg)
Page3
(http://i284.photobucket.com/albums/ll11/RockjohnAxe/Part2Page3-1.jpg)
Page4
(http://i284.photobucket.com/albums/ll11/RockjohnAxe/Ep1Page16.jpg)
Page 5
(http://i284.photobucket.com/albums/ll11/RockjohnAxe/Ep1Page17.jpg)
Page6
(http://i284.photobucket.com/albums/ll11/RockjohnAxe/Ep1Page18.jpg)
Page7
(http://i284.photobucket.com/albums/ll11/RockjohnAxe/Ep1Page19.jpg)
Page8 (The Pun Page)
(http://i284.photobucket.com/albums/ll11/RockjohnAxe/Ep1Page20.jpg)
(To be Continued)
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No offence, but this is quite terrible. It seems like DBZ with less of a plot (is this possible?)
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This is so bad it's funny. And WTF is that thing in panel 6 of Page 5? A leg? Or is he just happy to see me? o.O
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It's obviously a DBZ parody.
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i....
cannot
unsee this
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Obviously the villain is this powered football player with the creature from the black lagoon crossed with Shoop-Da-Whoop as a henchman and the heroes are an old man that looks a bit like Wily who likes tea and Jimmy from Double Dragon.
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I approve of the dedication required to have drawn so much of this.
Good show.
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lol im glad you are "Enjoying" it so much. but let me re-iterate this point:
Please Note: Episode one was drawn at work on work time and in a Clean room where i have to wear a Suit/face Mask and Gloves and could only use Clean Room paper and Pen
Part 2 Teaser is up. The Rest after is drawn at home on my Time and has Dramatically Better art.
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Are you actually at all serious with this, or is it parody? I STRONGLY hope this is parody.
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If it's a parody, it needs more of the, uh, funny.
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Ooookay... now he's a four armed football player. And now there's a new character, Joe Dirt.
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This isn't a parody, because it tries to be funny, and this guy was talking about dramatically better art, whereas in a parody it wouldn't matter the art quality.
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I can't get a boner no more! What did you do?!
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Sry, ill adjust the character Picture sizes when i get a chance.
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"What? You weren't dead enough the first time?"
....
Yes.
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Got some kind of charm.
But not really enough.
I can't help but to think about that dragonball movie. Dragonball evolution...
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im a huge dragon ball fan, but i have no faith in that movie... damn u hallywood.
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im a huge dragon ball fan, but i have no faith in that movie... damn u hallywood.
Did you see it?
That last scene was so epic. Everyone in the movies were laughing their *** off.
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Bam! Whoosh! Slash! Ka-powie!
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GOOD RIDDENS
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Dude why was a flagged for viewing porn when I tried to look at this on my library's computer?
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What the **** did I just read?
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Dude why was a flagged for viewing porn when I tried to look at this on my library's computer?
I don't know. Perhaps your computer had nothing worse to flag you for?
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Alright guys, Here are 2 more Pages in the New "Better Art" Style lol. Although im waiting till Episode 2 is finished to Release the rest of Episode 1 Part 2 and Episode 2 at the Same time. But here is a slight Update. (Ive Updated the First Page with the new stuff, but ill post it here for now. Although i will remove these at a later time when im ready to unleash the Next Episode.
EDIT: Pictures Removed. All can be viewed on Page 1.
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Oh God. My eyes have moved to where my ears were. And I say "were", because they're not there anymore. Where they are now, I cannot tell.
I fear the answer, though.
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I greatly admire your ability to keep working on and trying to improve something that people have nothing but criticism for. You're like David Gonterman, only not a tool.
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I admire that, too, but damn. He should learn from his mistakes, cut his losses, etc.
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When Episode 2 is finished ill decide what todo from there. But ive already started planning Episode 3 and 4. The Story starts to take off shortly after Episode one Finishes. I realize episode one was rough and gives a sour opinion on the Series, but just you wait. Hopefully ill finish episode 2 soon so i can post it all up. Then we will see what you have to say :P
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Not to be a douche, but I have a feeling it's not getting any better... I mean, imagine how it gets when you run out of original ideas and have to use filler episodes.
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I enjoy it, even if it is just the giggles I get from reading something so ridiculous.
=\
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Once you get some time to review your english and do it again in a bit better art (NOT CLEAN ROOM) it'll be looking a little better. While the art in the 2nd episode is looking better, it's definitely harder to follow what's actually happening than in the first one. Consider your staging, silhouettes etc, all the **** you learned in school!! I know the origins of this were done in stickmen, but I know you've learned a little since then :P And remember that just because you can see an entire pose/scene in your head, the person looking at it only sees what you put down, so show what your meaning!
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Heres an Update, This continues the Story of Episode 1. The First page is Updated so if you want to re-read to figure out where we are you can. But for now ill post the new stuff here, Enjoy!!
Part 2:
Page 5
(http://i284.photobucket.com/albums/ll11/RockjohnAxe/Ep1Page17.jpg)
Page6
(http://i284.photobucket.com/albums/ll11/RockjohnAxe/Ep1Page18.jpg)
Page7
(http://i284.photobucket.com/albums/ll11/RockjohnAxe/Ep1Page19.jpg)
Page8 (The Pun Page)
(http://i284.photobucket.com/albums/ll11/RockjohnAxe/Ep1Page20.jpg)
(To BE continued)
Edit: Edited The Picture Sizes.
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That shadow guy actually had a quite neat pose.
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I for one would like to see this continue forever.
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Okay, you need to go through some comic tutorials.
First of all, i can's see a single environment picture. Where the hell is this? Without an environment picture whe won't be able to tell where the characters are, or where they have went.
Always start with one of these as soon as you change location.
Second, your main character(s) HAVE to have a weakness. Otherwise you won't be able to connect to them and you won't be as happy when they win. One example is Superman with his kryptonite, but that gets boring fast. Another example is Naruto(because everyone knows who he is), with his Kyuubi that tends to take control over him, sending him into a berserk.
Third, if you want a good storyline(talking about fighting stories now), then you should be careful with the whole "I was defeated but i come back because you somehow didn't kill me!" theme.
Once in a while might be okay, but it kinda ruins the tension if your character defeats an enemy and the reader knows that he is coming back atleast one time.
Fourth, i can see no storyline whatsoever. A guy is attacked, finds another guy who joins, and finds yet another guy who joins? At the same time, some evil guys are trying to kill him for no apparent reason.
We don't know where the main character is headed, why he is headed there, why he is attacked, why he is such a good fighter, why the other good guys join him, why they can fight, what an energy attack is, etc, etc, etc.
Please, you need a story!
Last, but not least. Climax and Anticlimax. This is important. As you've written the story now the climax is at top all the time. You need to have some anti-climax too, otherwise the story becomes too unbelievable, too intense, too boring. Make the characters walk somewhere, add some jokes. If you don't know what climax and anti-climax is, google it.
Oh, and i love the 90's joke "This could prove... handy"
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The storyline is thinner than Paris Hilton, but the content is diamond dust :D
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WALL OF TEXT DO A SPLASH ATTACK
I don't agree with any of this. The awesomeness of this comic is not in what's going on, it's in how comical the style is.
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Stick ninjas are attacking again!
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Stick ninjas are attacking again!
Oh. I've been calling them faceless character ninjas up until now.
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Such...? Power...? Im...possible?
THERE'S NO WAY THAT COULD BE RIGHT
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I call shenanigans.
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Terradont: This isnt some professional Operation here. LAyouts and Backgrounds are one of my Weakest areas. I dont feel knowing their location at least this early into the Series really changes anything. Characters do have Weakness's. If you didn't notice dude had to Drink a Rejuvenating Tea just to Beat Muscle Before he became the Mutant Muscle. But ya, thanks for your advice i guess :P
Purple: I love you
Dark Fox/x Marks the Ed: Something ive done to add to the style, any generic characters that dont matter Are Fleshed out Stickmen. And yes, they are Stick Ninjas of Clan Swift Night (Something you will learn later as the series progresses)
Archem: I also love you.
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Stickmen are better. It's much harder to epicly fail at drawing lines.