Horror Review #1: Open Water

[Drace]

This thread and all upcoming threads of The Horror Review are most likely filled with spoilers. Beware.

So I'm gonna take my time watching crappy horror movies to discuss with the people on Charas. This week's piece of dogshit is the, and I quote, "Horrorhit of the year", Open Water. Wow. That must have been a really, REALLY, slow year. The only horrorfying part of this movie is that it with bore you to do. It even does so to one of the two main characters.

Let's start with the beginning, the story:

So the two main characters, Susan and Daniel, go on a vacation. Nice sunny beaches, fun in the town and almost porn in the hotel. Of course, when you're at a beach, you need to go diving. So the next morning they go to, well, dive. Big group of twenty people. Of course, the most fanatic diver lost his goggles. So, that's one turfed off to being on the boat. Everyone dives in and after only a few minutes, two people show up. Someone's ear hurts and her boyfriend is with her. Of course, the fanatic diver sees an opportunity. He borrows the goggles of the girl and is ready to dive in, but he isn't allowed. You need a buddy. So he drags the girls boyfriend with him.

All the divers return and of course, the fanatic diver and boyfriend too. The stupid instructor turfs off twenty people, not realising he already turfed off the fanatic diver and the boyfriend. He tries to count them, but somehow he can't. He's probably not too clever and thinks "I got twenty turfed down so it doesn't matter." The boat leaves without realising they left Susan and Daniel behind.

Now, I'd like to add. This is like 20 - 25 minutes in. The movies is 77 minutes in total and honestly, I can't tell all that much about the rest. It is, seriously, 50 minutes of boredom. They're in the water, they try to find the boat. They can't. They wait. Susan gets seasick and pukes. They argue. Susan somehow gets hurt. Daniel gets bitten by a shark and is dead the next day. Well, we have to believe that Susan can check heartbeats really good WITH GLOVES ON! Seriously, she checks it with a glove on and decides that Daniel is dead. So she pushes him away and he gets eaten by sharks. The movie ends with Susan commiting suicide by drowning herself. In my opinion, she was so bored (like I was) that she had to do something.

The next part to discuss, the camera style:

I don't what it is, but I always feel lonely and depressed with movies filmed with such a style. If I should discribe it, then I would either choose for a high quality home video movie or a porn movie. That's the quality. Honestly, ugh.

Lastly, I want to add about:
Four things. First, the random scenes that are placed in it. They are horrible, boring and most don't add anything to the story but boringness.
Secondly, the sharks. Seriously, the guy was bitten and only had a nibble away from his leg. I thought sharks took bigger bites. Also, when a shark appears above water, it looks fastforwarded or something.
Thirdly, the acting. The girl, Susan, is horrible. Daniel was the way better counterpart here. I actually liked his acting (along with the fanatic diver) the most of this movie.
Lastly, the music. There are some scenes where the music is just horrible. Sure, it is horrible throughout the entire movie, but some scenes take the crown.

To conclusion:
This might just be the single most horrible horror movie I ever saw. I would say, don't download it, but then I wouldn't have a discussion with more people. So download it, see for yourself and comment. But seriously, don't pay for this crap. Why not? I have payed €1,-. I found it too much and I don't say that often.

2.0 out of 10 stars.


EDIT
So yeah, I did some more research on it and something shocked me. CHECK THIS

A FIVE POINT NINE?!?!?! HOW! I mean, I know it was low budget, but still. I have seen much better low budget horror movies. Take an example of The Blair Witch Project. Sure, it isn't perfect. But take that movie, put it in your dvd at midnight and watch it alone and it'll at least set the mood really good. But just how can people rate this movie so high when all you are doing is waiting for something to happen. It's like watching paint and sometimes a fly flies near it. UGH!

Also, some nice trivia from IMDB.

Chris Kentis (writer and director) wrote the original draft of the screenplay in under six days.

He probably did not change anything afterwards. At least got a reason why this movie sucked so hard.

[White Dwarf]

Whereas I, however, thought it was amazing. Truly an amazing piece of cinematic wonder.

[Almeidaboo]

Nice job making it sound boring man...haven't watched it, and probably won't XD

[Moosetroop11]

Haven't seen it either.

I've seen white though. In this thread.

[Meiscool-2]

The bright bold print keeps my attention!

But really, I hated this movie. Waste of my time.

[Almeidaboo]

Dude, I didn't even realise White there! WTF?

[Drace]

So is the internet and yet you log in it every day.

Well, the internet is more exciting than Open Water, so that says a lot. Anyhoe, tune in next week for a new review. This was an experiment and I'm going to put some more effort in the next one. If people like this, I might just make videos too. I mean, I have the dvds and software. So yeah, I might or might not. Tune in back next week.

The bright bold print keeps my attention!

Good or bad, btw?

[Meiscool-2]

Good.

[Felix-0]

Meh ...I've never liked horror movies  I dunno...the only  horror movie that caught my attention was Saw...but that died quickly when they made 4 freaking other saw movies....
It's Final fantisy string all over again!  ,

[Razor]

I hardly think it's unfair to compare *anything* to the internet. The internet has virtually endless appeal, what with the everything you can do.

[drenrin2120]

What's with the old members popping up?
Not that it's a bad thing.

I like this idea Drace, there are some bad horror movies out there, most from the past five years. You wouldn't have a hard time finding material, that's for sure.

[Drace]

What's with the old members popping up?
Not that it's a bad thing.

I like this idea Drace, there are some bad horror movies out there, most from the past five years. You wouldn't have a hard time finding material, that's for sure.

Trust me, I have enough materials. Seeing as I'm a fool who likes to buy cheap DVDs, I have a lot (100+ at least, maybe way more, too much to count) of bad ones between them too.

[Meiscool-2]

Review zombies on a plane next. I want to see your opinion of that.

[Drace]

Review zombies on a plane next. I want to see your opinion of that.

Zombies on a Plane. The name rings a bell that is louder than Snakes on a Plane, think I saw it in one of the local stores. Might check it out if it doesn't cost to much.