Make a wish and have it horribly corrupted!

[Rahl]

Granted but you suck at using them and fall on your face.

I wish for perfect balance.

[Roland_Deschain]

Granted: Perfect spiritual balance. You're an enlightened monk who spends hours in prayer... but you never eat, so after a few months of wisdom-spouting, you die of starvation.

I wish I had a british accent.

[Musha]

Granted, but a mob of Twilight haters mistake you for Robert Pattinson and beat you to death.

I wish Twilight haters weren't so violent.

[Tina Branford]

Granted. Kingdom Hearts fanboys become far more violent, making the Twilight haters less violent in comparison.

I wish for... pizza. Really good pizza that isn't fattening and won't be stolen or destroyed or harm me in any way.

[fruckert]

Granted, but you get hungry five minutes later again.

I wish the weather would cool down.

[Cloudghost]

Granted, but you get hungry five minutes later again.

I wish the weather would cool down.

Granted, Ice Age here it comes.

I wish I would work on my game more. =p

[Hawkfrost]

Granted, as soon as you finish computer crashes and you lose it all

I wish i didnt have writers block

[Musha]

Granted, you are suddenly inspired to write the ultimate yaoi fic.

I wish I could bend spoons with my mind.

[Cloudghost]

Granted, but you can only do it when your sleep.

I wish for it to rain Skittles!

[Hirochi-Zangus]

Granted, the Skittles company goes out of business and sue you because of your wish!

I wish that rain was made of money.

[Cerebus]

Granted, you get an ice cube.
You're lucky you didn't wish for it, or else you would've obtained a yellow ice cube.

I wish for world peace...

Hah! Hahaha!

Nah, seriously, I wish I had a better computer.

[fruckert]

Granted, you get an extra kilobyte of memory.
Hey, it is technically better

I wish that I had some money.

[Hirochi-Zangus]

Okay, but money is now made of water.

I wish for food

[fruckert]

Granted, have this crumb I found in my pocket.

I wish I had a sandvich.

[Musha]

Granted, but the Scout beats you with an alluminum bat and eats it while sitting on you.

I wish I was perfect in every way.