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Ellie: I had a slice of ham in my hand. I was going to drop it, so I slapped it hard. It attached itself to the wall
Potential answer?I first wanted to use Evil Ned, but I drew him terrible, so instead of butchering him, I used my guy.
Because even Unfunny Comics could use a little toilet humor.
That explains everything! The Nametag Bandit! What does he do with them? Who cares...
I am trying to decide whether or not this was subtly funny, because puns are sometimes considered anti-humor.