The Fires of Balzar my novel

[Fisherson]

Reptiles cant sweat, sop mentioning that is didn't sweat is redundant.
Reptiles are cold blooded. In a Warm environment, they would feel especially lively and active

Oh O.K.,it's been a wile since i took sceince.And don't have cable or dish TV.
I'm going to do a little research on Lizzard Phisology.

Maybe you could describe the environment a bit more.  Maybe, "The sun was shining through the great Balori tree as the humid air left drops of moisture upon it's leaves." Or of the sort.  (Just off the top of my head)
Describe in detail so the reader can get a really good sense of where everything is happening.  Is he in a rain forest-like area?  Or maybe topical island?  Also, Proof-Reading is your friend.

+ I can never remember if it's is "it is" or the possessive. o.o  I wanted it to be the possessive. >.>

Okay,got it.More descrpitive..i like your cliping,by the way.

The thing you need to work the most on might be the punctuation and the commas. Yours just doesn't make sense most of the time.

I havn't taken english in a wile ethier.,so i'm going to try that too.
Thanks for your advice and for taking this seriously i realy need this money.
They're going to put an over pass by my house and i may have to move away..

[A Forgotten Legend]

Thanks. ^^

The storyline itself seems like it'll be very interesting.  Good Luck.

[Fisherson]

Thanks. ^^

The storyline itself seems like it'll be very interesting.  Good Luck.

You havn't even heard the best part one the main characters
is a rock star who end up joing the millitary as a test pilot.
By the way,most of this based on a RP me and my freind do over
the phone somtimes.

[ZeroKirbyX]

Stop making ****ing excuses. If you post work to get opinions and they point out a flaw, don't say "It's because of blah," just fix it.

[Fisherson]

Stop making ****ing excuses. If you post work to get opinions and they point out a flaw, don't say "It's because of blah," just fix it.

Er sorry when was i making up excuses?Do you mean what i said about not taking
sceince and english classes in a while?Cause I have A.D.H.D.,so it takes me more effort to learn things.
i forget things very easy if I don't practise them over and over again.Thats not an excuse,it is my life.

[ZeroKirbyX]

Its an excuse if its a reason why you did or didn't do something. "I didn't take English," isn't an excuse for poor writing. If you didn't take English, maybe you should before you want to write for Star Wars.

[Phayre]

No, they kinda taught me at the workshop. Check it out: http://alpha.spellcaster.org , it's a great workshop for young writers. /shameless plug.
But ADHD or no, you still need more practice. Please don't turn this into a bitter discussion of how "disorder x" ruined your life, education, and all that-- we can all play that game, and it's not fun.

[Fisherson]

Its an excuse if its a reason why you did or didn't do something. "I didn't take English," isn't an excuse for poor writing. If you didn't take English, maybe you should before you want to write for Star Wars.

I did english lol! sorry I meant to say that i havn't taken it since i graduated

No, they kinda taught me at the workshop. Check it out: http://alpha.spellcaster.org , it's a great workshop for young writers. /shameless plug.
But ADHD or no, you still need more practice. Please don't turn this into a bitter discussion of how "disorder x" ruined your life, education, and all that-- we can all play that game, and it's not fun.

Sorry about the blame game thing,Phayre.Thank you for the link i'll try it.
The not Leon will still edit for Fish,right?

[A Forgotten Legend]

Uh, a bit of flaming no? o.o

I think that Phayre is right, (like pretty much any other time).

And you do need practice. Also: Practice doesn't make perfect, perfect practice makes perfect.

[Ben]

chill out dudes.


Yeah, on the internet, there is no such thing as any disease other then cancer or aids.


Keep practicing fish, it'll get better.
Perhaps Mapping out your story will help, rather then reciting an old rp from the phone. (phone rp?!?wierd)
The way you're wording youself makes things sound like a short story. I think you would be better of not calling this a "Novel"
because novels often have nothing but pages upion pages of description and insigt into the characters minds, and the histories of the world and situation. Especially sci fi or fantasy. AS much as people tent to think otherwise, it can almost be the hardest thing to write well.

Yeah. Quit calling it a novel. Its a long short story. That being said, google "Short story writing tips" and lear learn learn

[Moosetroop11]

As far as I can tell, the best way to get better at writing is to read more.

And I wouldn't class zeek's comments as 'flaming' as such. If you honestly aspire to write professionally, taking a class in english spelling might be a good idea... He's got a point.