Short Funny Jokes

[lonewolf]

Short Funny Jokes as we all like a good joke one's a week i be posting one up
if i upset any one pm so i can move the joke as it may or not upset someone
and i do not what to do that in any way
this weeks joke

A husband and wife had four boys. The odd part of it was that the older three had red hair, light skin, and were tall, while the youngest son had black hair, dark eyes, and was short.
The father eventually took ill and was lying on his deathbed when he turned to his wife and said, “Honey, before I die, be totally honest with me - is our youngest son my child?”

The wife replied, “I swear on everything that’s holy that he is your son.”

With that the husband passed away. The wife then muttered, “Thank God he didn’t ask about the other three.”

[Bluhman]

What did the fish say when he crashed into a concrete wall?
"Damn."

What do Chinese people call Chinese food?
Food.

Two fish were in a tank. One fish said to the other:
"How do you drive this thing!?"

What is brown and sticky?
A stick.

Flies spread disease. So keep yours closed.

[coreystranick]

A masked man walked into a sperm bank. He ordered the nurse to open the vault.
"But sir its just a sperm bank"
"I don't care just open it"
After opening the vault he orders her to drink one.
"BUT they are sperm samples!"
"DO IT!"
The nurse sucks it back, he orders her do it again.
Finally after four samples he takes off his mask.
"See hunny- its not that hard."

[FFL2and3rocks]

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

The picture only needs one nail.

[Almeidaboo]

...seriously, that's all really bad humor.

[Bluhman]

...seriously, that's all really bad humor.

Nice joke.

[HobomasterXXX]

Once i went to the store. I purchased an apple for 20 cents. I ate the apple. I went home.

[Archem]

That's not a joke, that's just spam.

[HobomasterXXX]

No, you just dont get it Archem.

[fruckert]

A masked man walked into a sperm bank. He ordered the nurse to open the vault.
"But sir its just a sperm bank"
"I don't care just open it"
After opening the vault he orders her to drink one.
"BUT they are sperm samples!"
"DO IT!"
The nurse sucks it back, he orders her do it again.
Finally after four samples he takes off his mask.
"See hunny- its not that hard."

This is the only one that actually made me laugh
I'd post mine, but I suck at humor

[drenrin2120]

What's the difference between Tim and a bucket of ****?

The bucket.


Oh, Tim.

[Djanki]

A man walked up to his boss and said, "Sir, I've been working here for five years--I'd like a raise."

His boss thought and said, "You know what? I have a better idea. First, I'm going to make you my assistant. I'm going to give you an office with a view, a secretary, and a $50,000 wage."

The worker said, "Wow, boss, you gotta be kidding me!" The boss said, "Hey, you started it!"

[Fortet]

An Amish family go to the city for the first time in their lives. While the mother goes shopping, the father and son go to the mall. While there, they see an ugly, fat woman walk into an elevator. After a few seconds, a hot chick walks out. The father then turns to his son and says, "Quick, go get your mother!"

[FFL2and3rocks]

Two tomatoes are taking a walk. One of them is walking too slow and falling behind, so the other one steps on him and says "Ketchup!"

[Moosetroop11]

Fox force 5. Oh yes.