Story stealing

[X_marks_the_ed]

I would've made this earlier, but I didn't feel like it until now.

The poster takes the previous story and alters any words they want in the story, bolding all changes. Then the poster can then choose to write a new story. If they do, that new story becomes the next poster's target. If the poster chooses not to write a new story, the previous story is still the target.

Example 1 - New story:
Poster 1 -
"I ate a cat."

Poster 2 -
"I kicked a cat.
Just the other day I was making out with Razor and...."

Poster 3 -
"Just the other day I was finding out how far babies fly and..."


Example 2 - No new story:
Poster 1 -
"This is a story."

Poster 2 -
"This is Sparta!"

Poster 3 -
"This is Charas!"


Rules are simple:
-Don't edit an entire sentence. At least two words of each sentence must be the same as the original. This does not count when changing names in stories in script form.
-Try to write in script form, so we can easily read your stories.
-Don't make the stories too long. Scripts about sixteen lines long are a good size.
-Try to bold every change you make, so we don't have to compare the two to see what you've changed.
-Try to stay away from memes. Everyone's sick of them.
-Don't change single words into any more than two words. This does not include changing names.


Let's begin!
Moosetroop11: "We are out of Ketchup!"
Lucas: "But we can't! There must be some ketchup somewhere!"
Uberpwn: "Have you tried the pantries!? We can't eat our french fries without ketchup!"
Moosetroop11: "These are french fries?"
Uberpwn: "Of course. Aren't they?"
Lucas: "I thought they were skinny little pancakes."
Moosetroop11: "What the hell are these things!?"
Lucas: "Whatever they are, we need some damn ketchup!"
Moosetroop11: "Yes. We must kill Grandy for his ketchup."

[Uberpwn_w00t]

Moosetroop11: "We are out of Mayonnaise!"
Lucas: "But we can't! There must be some mayonnaise somewhere!"
Uberpwn: "Have you tried the bedsheets?! We can't eat our dead people without mayonnaise!"
Moosetroop11: "These are dead people?"
Uberpwn: "Hell no! You loon!"
Lucas: "I thought they were skinny little pancakes."
Moosetroop11: "What the hell are you on!?"
Lucas: "Whatever it is, it's working. Gimme damn Mayonnaise!"
Moosetroop11: "Yes. We must probe Grandy for his mayonnaisse."

[Bluhman]

Moosetroop11: "We are out of Ammo!"
Lucas: "But we can't! There must be some clips somewhere! We can't die here!"
Uberpwn: "Have you tried the enemy base?! We're going to be dead people without ammo!"
Moosetroop11: "I think we'd look pretty sexy as dead people."
Uberpwn: "Hell no! You loon!"
Lucas: "Think of it... If we die, we'll never have skinny little pancakes ever again!"
Moosetroop11: "What the hell are you guys on!? Don't you know we only live to die for the empire?"
Lucas: "Whatever it is, it's working. GIMME DEATH FOR THE EMPIRE!!!"
Moosetroop11: "Yes. We must sacrifice our meaningless lives for the greater good. For Grandy and his mayonnaise!!"

[A Forgotten Legend]

Moosetroop11: "We are out of food!"
Lucas: "But we can't! There must be some chips somewhere! We can't die here!"
Uberpwn: "Have you tried the enemy base?! We're going to be eating dead people without food!"
Moosetroop11: "I think we'd look pretty sexy eating dead people."
Uberpwn: "Hell no! You loon!"
Lucas: "Think of it... If we die, we'll never have skinny little Eds ever again!"
Moosetroop11: "What the hell are you guys on!? Don't you know we only live to die for the lord of cheese?"
Lucas: "Whoever it is, it's hungry. GIMME DEATH OR GIVE ME CHEESE!!!"
Moosetroop11: "Yes. We must sacrifice our meaningless lives for the greater good. For the lord of cheese and his Grandy!!"

[X_marks_the_ed]

Moosetroop11: "We are out of NAMU!"
Lucas: "Obviously! There can't be any NAMU anywhere! We can't live here!"
Uberpwn: "Have you tried the spaghetti?! We're going to be eating it without NAMU!"
Moosetroop11: "The spaghetti looks pretty sexy."
Uberpwn: "Hell no! You happy person!"
Lucas: "Think of it... If we mate, we'll have skinny little Eds again!"
Moosetroop11: "What the hell are you guys kicking!? Don't you know we only live to die?"
Lucas: "It's hungry. GIMME NAMU OR GIVE ME LUCAS!!!"
Moosetroop11: "Yes. We must mate our meaningless lives for the greater good. For the lord of AFL and his Cheerios!!"

[RadiantWind]

Moosetroop11: "We are out of lemonade!"
Lucas: "What?! We can't make any yellow snow anymore! We can't live here!"
Uberpwn: "Have you tried the snow?! We're going to be eating it without lemonade!"
Moosetroop11: "The snow looks pretty brown, though."
Uberpwn: "Hell no! You sick person!"
Lucas: "Think of it... If we pee, we'll have yellow snow again!"
Moosetroop11: "What the hell are you guys saying!? Don't you know we only pee on carcasses?"
Lucas: "It's hungry. GIMME YELLOW SNOW OR GIVE ME NOTHING!!!"
Moosetroop11: "Yes. We must pee on our snow for the lesser good. For the lord of Metallica and his senior citizens!!!"

[X_marks_the_ed]

Moosetroop11: "We are out of 'out of's!"
Lucas: "What?! We can't make any toys anymore! We can't find Waldo here!"
Uberpwn: "Have you tried the land??! We're going to be licking it without lemonade!"
Moosetroop11: "The sky looks pretty brown, though."
Uberpwn: "Hell no! You face person!"
Lucas: "Think of it... If we, we'll have yellow snow again!"
Moosetroop11: "What the hell are you guys!? Don't you know we only carcass on pee?"
Lucas: "It's hungry. GIMME the headless body of Agnu OR GIVE ME NOTHING!!!"
Moosetroop11: "Yes. We must pee on our lesser good for the lesser good. For the lord of Metallica and his senior citizens!!!!"

Jerry: I like ironing.
Maria: You stepped on my foot.
Jerry: Well, excuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me, Johnny!
Maria: Who's Johnny?
Jerry: You stepped on my foot.
<Jerry stops ironing and stands with a vacant look on his face.>
Jerry: I know! We'll go to the movies.
Maria: You stepped on my knee.
Jerry: Damn you woman! I'm gonna get this ironing done or I will rape you!
Maria: I love ironing!
Jerry: I KNOW! Isn't it awesome!?

[Bluhman]

Jerry: I like dance dance revolution.
Maria: You stepped on my foot.
Jerry: Well, damn me, I stepped on the foot of the mother of god!
Maria: Who's wha? What did I say?
Jerry: "You stepped on my foot."
<Jerry stops talking and stands with an enraged look on his face.>
Jerry: I didn't know you were faking it! I seriously thought I hurt you!!
Maria: You stepped on my knee.
Jerry: Damn you woman! I'm gonna get to the DDR pwnage without stepping on someone's body part or I will rape you!
Maria: I love tormenting you!
Jerry: I KNOW! Isn't it awesome to be a FREAKING RELIGIOUS FIGURE!?

*Javert, prison guard, stands over the working chain gang. He points to a prisoner, to which the guards react. He says...*
Javert: Now bring me prisoner 24601! Your time is up and your parole's begun! Do you know what this means?
Jean Valjean: Yes, it means I'm free!!
Javert: ...No. It means you get your yellow ticket of leave. You are a thief!
Jean Valjean: I stole a loaf of bread...
Javert: You robbed a house!
Jean Valjean: I broke a window pane... My sister's child was close to death... And we were starving-
Javert: You will starve again unless you learn the meaning of the law!!
Jean Valjean: I know the meaning of those nineteen years; a slave... Of the law.
Javert: Five years for what you did; the rest because you tried to run. Yes, 24601...
Jean Valjean: My name is Jean Valjean!
Javert: And I am Javert. Do not forget my name! Do not forget me, 24601!!
*Javert exits the room. Valjean is taken out of the prison.*

[X_marks_the_ed]

*Javert, prison guard, stands over the MAGGOTS!. He points to a prisoner, to which the MAGGOTS react. He says...*
Javert: Now bring me some pretzels.! Your up is time! and your adventure's just beginning!! Do you know what this means?
Jean Valjean: Yes, it means I'm vegan!!
Javert: ...No. It means you get your bundle of sticks of leave. You are a pirate!
Jean Valjean: I stole on my foot....
Javert: You robbed a homeless shelter!
Jean Valjean: The window pane broke me... My sister's child was closing in on death... And we were vegan-
Javert: You will live again unless you scrub all the floors in Hyrule.!!
Jean Valjean: I know not the meaning of those nineteen years; a MAGGOT... Of the law.
Javert: Five bucks for what you did; the rest because you tried to run. Yes, 24601...
Jean Valjean: My name is young man!
Javert: And I am young man. Do not forget my name! Do not forget me, 24601!!
*Javert exits the room. MAGGOT is taken out of the prison.*

[Uberpwn_w00t]

*Javert, average citizen, stands over the MAGGOTS!. He points to a floor tile, to which the MAGGOTS react. He says...*
Javert: Now bring me some puppies! You're ugly! and you smell like rotten carcasses! Do you know what this means?
Jean Valjean: Yes, it means I'm ugly, and smell like rotten carcasses!!
Javert: ...No. It means you get your ass over here. You are a butt face!!
Jean Valjean: I stole a teddy bear once!...
Javert: You robbed your own house, as well!
Jean Valjean: The teddy bear beat me... My own child was watching... And we were innocent-
Javert: You will be beaten again unless you scrub my toilet seat, and my face!!
Jean Valjean: I know not the meaning of those tasks; a MAGGOT... Of the law.
Javert: Five bucks for what you just said; the rest because this doesn't make sense anymore! Yes, peanuts...
Jean Valjean: My name is acorn!
Javert: And I am acorn. Do not forget my shoes! Do not forget me, acorn!!
*Javert exits the room. acorn is taken out of the prison.*

Gertrude: Hey, look! I have some dental paste!
Mariam: Oh boy Gert! Can I have some?
Gertrude: Of course! Here, I'll squeeze some onto your hand.
Mariam: Why, thank you Gertrude! I shall utilize this dental paste tonight, when I am brushing my teeth.
Gertrude: That is what dental paste is for, after all.
Mariam: Yes, and, might I add, that is a dashing tie you're sporting!
Gertrude: Oh, yes! I picked it up at the local Apparel Palace. It was a steal, for $12!
Mariam: Well, it was nice seeing you today Gertrude! Ta-ta!
Gertrude: Tally-ho!

[Red Giant]

Gertrude: Hey, look! I have some sexual lubricant!
Mariam: Oh boy Gert! Can I have some?
Gertrude: Of course! Here, I'll squeeze some onto your quivering woman-flesh.
Mariam: Why, thank you Gertrude! I shall utilize this sexual lubricant tonight, when I am having sexual intercourse.
Gertrude: That is what dat **** is for, homeslice.
Mariam: Yes, and, might I add, that is a dashing strap-on dildo you're sporting!
Gertrude: Oh, yes! I picked it up at the local place where you buy things like that, i mean i wouldn't know anything about it. It was a steal, for i stole it!
Mariam: Well, it was nice seeing your vagina today Gertrude! Ta-ta!
Gertrude: Tally-ho! I am coming to realize the unorthodox nature of our friendship, and that our exchange, though casual, may have broken many taboos which, though perfectly normal to the two of us, nonetheless may seem extremely odd or even perverse to a casual bystander.

[WarxePB]

SaiKar: Hey, look! I have some sexual lubricant!
Osmose: Oh boy Harvey! Can I have some?
SaiKar: Of course! Here, I'll squeeze some onto your bald head.
Osmose: Why, thank you Harvey! I shall utilize this sexual lubricant in about an hour, when I am going to walk around and blind people with my shiny head.
SaiKar: That is not what shiny heads are for, homeface.
Osmose: Yes, and, might I add, F*** you and the horse you rode in on!
SaiKar: Oh, yes! I picked it up at the glue factory where you salvage things like that, i mean i wouldn't know where the nearest desert is. It was a good meal, for i deep fried it!
Osmose: Well, it was nice seeing your vagina today Harvey! Ta-ta!
SaiKar: Tally-ho! I am coming to realize the parasitic nature of our friendship, and that our love for each other's alter egos, though casual, may have broken many taboos which, though perfectly normal to the two of us, nonetheless may seem extremely odd or even perverse to a casual bystander.



Bruno: Wow, look at all those colors! I sure do love autumn.
Val: Yes, it's beautiful! But it's quite chilly out, and my hands are getting cold. Shall we retire to that cottage?
Sam: I don't know about that, Val. That cottage looks pretty haunted to me.
Val: Nonsense! You cannot tell the spiritual presence of a cottage merely by looking at it!
Bruno: Well, that moving tree over there is quite telling.
Val: Merely... a simple parlor trick. You know, wires and projectors and all that.
Bruno: This ain't Scooby Doo. And if it was, I'd definitely be Shaggy. Which I'm not. So it's not.
Sam: You've gotta stop eating those hallucinogenic mushrooms, Bruno.
Bruno: But they make me bigger! And watch, I can stomp on people to kill them! *jumps on Val*
Val: Ow! My spine! *is crushed*
Sam: Quickly! We must cut her corpse up, lest it become a zombie in these foul lands!
Bruno: Qu'est-ce que c'est, psycho killer?
Val: BRAINS!
Sam: Oh, what an undelightful evening!

[Uberpwn_w00t]

Bruno: Wow, look at all those idiots! I sure do love America.
Ted: Yes, it's beautiful! But it's quite tense, and my rod is getting stiff. Shall we beat to that young woman?
Sam: I don't know about that, Val. That young woman looks pretty sleazy to me.
Ted: Nonsense! You cannot tell the sexual openness of a young woman merely by looking at one!
Bruno: Well, that skimpy outfit on her is quite revealing.
Ted: Merely... a simple clothing choice. You know, dresses and skirts and all that.
Bruno: This ain't the Fashion Network. And if it was, I'd definitely be the sexiest. Which I'm not. So it's not.
Sam: You've gotta stop popping those viagra pills, Bruno.
Bruno: But they make me bigger! And watch, I can violate people to emotionally destroy them! *jumps on Val*
Ted: Ah! My dignity! *is humiliated*
Sam: Quickly! We must lube his body up, lest it loses it's natural moisture!
Bruno: Qu'est-ce que c'est, Talking Heads reference?
Ted: NO!
Sam: Oh, what an interesting evening!

[Bluhman]

Bruno: Wow, look at all those zombies! I sure do love Raccoon City.
Ted: Yes, it's beautiful! But it's quite tense, and my shotgun is getting jammed. Shall we beat that young woman carcass?
Sam: I don't know about that, Val. That young woman looks pretty alive to me.
Ted: Nonsense! You cannot tell the mortality of a young woman merely by looking at one!
Bruno: Well, that bloody stain on her is quite revealing.
Ted: Merely... a simple scratch. You know, knife wounds and bit marks and all that.
Bruno: This ain't GUROChan. And if it was, I'd definitely disgusted. Which I am. But we're clearly in Raccoon City and not on the internet, So it's not.
Sam: You've gotta stop popping those aspirin pills pills, Bruno.
Bruno: But they make me aim better! And watch, I can shoot zombies to quite physically destroy them! *jumps on Zombie*
Ted: Ah! My dignity! *is humiliated*
Sam: Quickly! We must lube his body up, lest it loses it's natural moisture!
Bruno: Qu'est-ce que c'est, Talking Heads reference?
Ted: NO! *Is eaten by zombie*
Sam: Oh, the humanity!