The Adventures of Dude the Super Fighter

[JaggedDragon]

Once you get some time to review your english and do it again in a bit better art (NOT CLEAN ROOM) it'll be looking a little better. While the art in the 2nd episode is looking better, it's definitely harder to follow what's actually happening than in the first one. Consider your staging, silhouettes etc, all the **** you learned in school!! I know the origins of this were done in stickmen, but I know you've learned a little since then   And remember that just because you can see an entire pose/scene in your head, the person looking at it only sees what you put down, so show what your meaning!

[RockJohnAxe]

Heres an Update, This continues the Story of Episode 1.   The First page is Updated so if you want to re-read to figure out where we are you can. But for now ill post the new stuff here, Enjoy!!


Part 2:

Page 5


Page6


Page7


Page8 (The Pun Page)



(To BE continued)


Edit: Edited The Picture Sizes.

[Prpl_Mage]

That shadow guy actually had a quite neat pose.

[Razor]

I for one would like to see this continue forever.

[Terradont]

Okay, you need to go through some comic tutorials.

First of all, i can's see a single environment picture. Where the hell is this? Without an environment picture whe won't be able to tell where the characters are, or where they have went.
Always start with one of these as soon as you change location.

Second, your main character(s) HAVE to have a weakness. Otherwise you won't be able to connect to them and you won't be as happy when they win. One example is Superman with his kryptonite, but that gets boring fast. Another example is Naruto(because everyone knows who he is), with his Kyuubi that tends to take control over him, sending him into a berserk.

Third, if you want a good storyline(talking about fighting stories now), then you should be careful with the whole "I was defeated but i come back because you somehow didn't kill me!" theme.
Once in a while might be okay, but it kinda ruins the tension if your character defeats an enemy and the reader knows that he is coming back atleast one time.

Fourth, i can see no storyline whatsoever. A guy is attacked, finds another guy who joins, and finds yet another guy who joins? At the same time, some evil guys are trying to kill him for no apparent reason.
We don't know where the main character is headed, why he is headed there, why he is attacked, why he is such a good fighter, why the other good guys join him, why they can fight, what an energy attack is, etc, etc, etc.
Please, you need a story!

Last, but not least. Climax and Anticlimax. This is important. As you've written the story now the climax is at top all the time. You need to have some anti-climax too, otherwise the story becomes too unbelievable, too intense, too boring. Make the characters walk somewhere, add some jokes. If you don't know what climax and anti-climax is, google it.


Oh, and i love the 90's joke "This could prove... handy"

[zuhane]

The storyline is thinner than Paris Hilton, but the content is diamond dust

[X_marks_the_ed]

WALL OF TEXT DO A SPLASH ATTACK

I don't agree with any of this. The awesomeness of this comic is not in what's going on, it's in how comical the style is.

[Darkfox]

Stick ninjas are attacking again!

[X_marks_the_ed]

Stick ninjas are attacking again!

Oh. I've been calling them faceless character ninjas up until now.

[DedlellyDeth]

Such...? Power...? Im...possible?
THERE'S NO WAY THAT COULD BE RIGHT

[Archem]

I call shenanigans.

[RockJohnAxe]

Terradont:  This isnt some professional Operation here.  LAyouts and Backgrounds are one of my Weakest areas.  I dont feel knowing their location at least this early into the Series really changes anything.   Characters do have Weakness's. If you didn't notice dude had to Drink a Rejuvenating Tea just to Beat Muscle Before he became the Mutant Muscle.  But ya, thanks for your advice i guess

Purple: I love you

Dark Fox/x Marks the Ed:  Something ive done to add to the style, any generic characters that dont matter Are Fleshed out Stickmen. And yes, they are Stick Ninjas of Clan Swift Night (Something you will learn later as the series progresses)

Archem:  I also love you.

[DedlellyDeth]

Stickmen are better. It's much harder to epicly fail at drawing lines.