Cliches?

[MissingName]

Right, I need everyone to tell me their least favorite RPG cliches.  Plot lines, characters, monsters, you name it.

So I can put them all in one game  and annoy the hell out of you.

[supasora]

Majority of rpg's being fantasy and main characters that dont talk. Is for your <title/title> thing? (I think I typed it right)

[Bluhman]

Why does the main character always have to be so goddamn young. Let's take a damn look here:
Lloyd Irving: 17
Link: Probably no older than 20 in any of his appearances, and at his youngest, 7.
Tidus: 17
Zidane: 16
Squall: 17
Terra: 18
Ness: 14
Chaz Ashley: 16
Crono: 17
Justin (Grandia): 14
Vyse: 17
Rudy Roughnight: 15
Fei Fong Wong: 18

DAMN 17 is freaking popular. In fact, all the characters in FFVIII are 17. What the christ.

[Valiere]

The main character must be a mute teenage male with spiky hair and a sword.

And he has to start the game by having his mom wake him up and remind him that he's late for something (possibly after a dream sequence).

You need an NPC in every town that simply says, "Welcome to X town!"

Someone needs a necklace or pendant that turns out to be magical and critical to the plot. Probably the love interest.

And you've got to go collect all 4/5/6/whatever elemental crystals of power!

[Cerebus]

Main hero being young and effeminate.
And by young, I mean like younger than one of his rank, skill, etc. should usually be.
And by effeminate I mean looking gay.

Shopkeepers selling stuff full price even though they know you are there to save the world.
Like Final Fantasy (first) where people know you are the Warriors of Light from the prophecy but still sell you stuff instead of giving it or at least reducing the price. I mean, you're there to save his butt after all.

[HobomasterXXX]

*Manage to drop hundreds of enemies effortlessly in gameplay battles*
*Custscene with one or two enemies threatening the protagonists*
Protagonists: Oh no, it is hopeless. *surrender*

[supasora]

Oh and duengens. I HATE duengens. especialy with a random battle every 3 secounds and little to no save points, and an area around the end that looks like an area to fight a boss but it teleports you to the entrance and you have to start over again from the begining.

[Bluhman]

*Manage to drop hundreds of enemies effortlessly in gameplay battles*
*Custscene with one or two enemies threatening the protagonists*
Protagonists: Oh no, it is hopeless. *surrender*

All at once would make sense in this context. Now, what's more infuriating is:

Battle:
Take tens of arrows, slashes, and gunshots to the head before finally going 'unconcious', and fully capable of being revived.

Cutscene:
Get stabbed once from behind and you're actually full out DEAD. Nope, not even Phoenix Down works.

Oh and duengens. I HATE duengens. especialy with a random battle every 3 secounds and little to no save points, and an area around the end that looks like an area to fight a boss but it teleports you to the entrance and you have to start over again from the begining.

Welcueme to my DUENGEN!!!! Mueheheheheheee!

I really like to avert this one in my RPG's; wandering enemies are always better than random ones.

[MissingName]

Majority of rpg's being fantasy and main characters that dont talk. Is for your <title/title> thing? (I think I typed it right)

No, a game for Drak's crappy games.

Young.  Really young.

Quote is the main character.  I don't know if he has age or rank. I mean, he could be a hundred for all we know.

And he has to start the game by having his mom wake him up and remind him that he's late for something (possibly after a dream sequence).

I'm going for the old amnesia chestnut.

You need an NPC in every town that simply says, "Welcome to X town!"

Oh, already have that.

And you've got to go collect all 4/5/6/whatever elemental crystals of power!

Howabout 20?

Also, lots of annoying music that has a looptime of under 20 seconds.  Yay.

[Bluhman]

Oh, shit. How could I forget this: FETCH. QUESTS.

[MissingName]

Oh, shit. How could I forget this: FETCH. QUESTS.

The whole game is pretty much a fetch quest.  I know Drak loves them.

"Why am I giving away stuff from my game?" you might ask.  Because I've got a sinister plan.

Please keep them cliches coming.  Perhaps others can use this as a guide of what NOT to do in a game.  Of course, I'm making a bad game on purpose...

[supasora]

The whole game is pretty much a fetch quest.  I know Drak loves them.

"Why am I giving away stuff from my game?" you might ask.  Because I've got a sinister plan.

As sinister as the time I was playing your one game and I went to get the shroom but then I stepped on a land mine and exploded?

[Bluhman]

The final boss having more than 3 forms.

A boss that's 'hard' only for the sole reason it takes 10 minutes+ to destroy him.

Having characters that don't do what their appearance should suggest.

Having some characters be disproportionately powerful in comparison to others.

Hell, just glean this madness. The armored knight is the attack character, while the vulgar, loud-mouthed brigand is the defensive one. The **** sense does that make.

[Valiere]

Oh, and swords do way more damage than guns. Yes, I know getting smacked with a sword would probably hurt, but can't they find a way to express the superiority of guns? There's a reason we're not carrying around claymores and crap anymore.

[SaiKar]

Hell, just glean this madness. The armored knight is the attack character, while the vulgar, loud-mouthed brigand is the defensive one. The **** sense does that make.

Entertaining link, would follow again.