Charas Grande Adventure Game: Rebirth of an Age

[Rahl]

Rahls head swam as he fought for consciousness everything around him dark what little light was blurred in his vision. Then there was movement in the corner of the small room and a noise, a terrible gut wrenching crunching and gnawing. The room smelled of blood and bile, the air hot and rancid. Rahl could just make out a figure crouching over another shapeless form lying on the ground. The figure on the ground slowly reached out to him trembling and calling his name.

Rahl: Lylac.. Lylac!

He wanted to reach out to her but he couldn't. There was something in his hands cords of wet slippery rope between his fingers. He looked down and his hands were covered in blood and under him she lay looking up at him as he chewed on her innards, his head spun as he saw it but he couldn't stop even as she reached out to him begging him.

Lylac: Yes... *she said weakly* yes my love feed... devour us all, become strong my love.

-The waking world-

Dave: I don't like the looks of this...

Rahls skin was growing pale, his eyes darker, and a small but growing hole was forming in his chest.

Dave: That can't be good, his weakened form is allowing the hollow to take over his human half.

Lylac: I don't know what to do! Wake up! Wake up damnit!

She shook him vigorously but it did nothing. His skin was almost snow white now, his veins black as death. Protrusions something like horns we beginning to rise from his skull.

Dave: I think this might have to be one battle he has to win on his own...

-Rahl's Construct-

Clare watched as the beast dug his claws into Rahl's stomach, Rahl retching up blood in droves, his entire being seeming to draw from the monster pulling him inward transforming him into something altogether different... Something that not even her darkest nightmare could bring to bare...

[Zoltar]

Mary: *Finally gets out of the hole.* Freedom!! Now to get to the others....and fast. *Spin dashes as fast as she can towards the camp* Guuuuuuuuuys!! *Crashes into Moonbeam* Hah stupid horse! *Gets up and walks dazedly towards Dave and Lylac* Hey dudes? There's some freaky bugs in their ears! They cause ultra real, scary nightmares!! You need to remove the bugs.

Zoltar: Mnng...Mary keep it down will you? Some of us are sleeping.

Dave:  Hold up, Zolty. Sooo there's a bug in Rahl's ear causing this? *Looks down Rahl's ear* Ah! She's right I see the little fiend. *Uses the Force to pry it off* Got Ya!

-- Rahl's Construct --

*As Rahl's was just barely holding on about to be absorbed suddenly he felt a surge of energy and knew in his mind and heart that none of this was real.*

Rahl: This is a dream.Nothing is real! Getsuga Tenshoooooo!! *He said firing it from his hands within the creature making it explode from within.

Haul Noooooooo! I almost had you dam you Rahl! *He said using Sonido and leaving*

Rahl's: *Whipes some fried hollow off himself and turns to.Bastille smiling* Next?

[Fisherson]

Dave: Okay I checked Zoltar and Fruck. Neither have any bugs in their ears we should be okay now.

Mary: How do you know?? Maybe they're in your ears! Heck maybe this is all my nightmare.

Lylac: Unlikely cause the title card still says "Morphiah Forest".

Fourth Wall: *Cracks a little*

David: You guys hear something?

Lylac: Ahh sorry. ^^; I forgot how delicate that thing was.

Dave: Not that.

Fruck: *Eating crackers* Hmm? Sorry!

Dave: No not that. That "buzzing sound".

Moonbeam: What buzzing-

*Suddenly the air itself seemed to vibrate as it was swarmed but thousands of Morphiah Beetles.*

Dave: Oh dren.

- Rahl's construct -

Rahl: *Faces down Bastille* What kind of a Hollow calls herself Bastille anyway?

Bastille: *Smiles wider* It was my name in life why not in death? *Draws her blade and holds it up with both hands* Not that it matters as you won't have one in a moment...Aqua Rasgar!

*She began to glow then there was a implosion of Spirit Energy then she was standing before Rahl garbed in a ton of bone white armor. her body had gotten taller and more muscular a dher bust size was now at a G-cup while her face mask was only a little different. Mostly it resembled a forehead guard. It should be noted her hands were armored in thick cestuses and so her hand feet*

Bastille R: *Grins* Now let's see how powerful you are spirit reaper! *Raises her hands and smashes them into*

Rahl: Heh you think hitting the ground will-*Suddenly the ground under Rahl let up and Whoosh! A energy blast threw him into the air*

Bastile R: *Sonido's up to him and unleashes a close range Cero* Cero Osculas! *The world goes black as Rahl is blasted from the air and driven back into tthe ground*

Clare: Raaaahl!!

Crator: *Sizzles a moment before Rahl leaps out and dons his mask roaring in distorted voice* Gestsuga-ten-sho! *Uleashes a wave of dark at Bastille*

Bastille: I was hopping you'd do that!! *Leaps forward and slashes with one claw which splits Getsuga in half then unleashes another which streaks at Rahl!!....But then suddenly he wakes up!*

- Morphiah Forest -

Rahl Half Holllowfied: Aaah!....*Changes back slowly* W-what? *Looks down at the hole that's slowly shrinking* What happened?

Dave: Rahl you're allive! Thank goodness! *Using his E. Lighting to zap bugs that get too close* Ah say buddy? You got a Kido spell for pesky insects that lure  you into the dream realm and then kill you?

Rahl: *Gets up and looks around* Hmm I know something that might do the trick. *Points to the sky* Thunder Wheel Kido 69!!

*The sky lights up with electricity and soon the smell of fried insects*

Fruck: Pretty fire works. Think that was all of them?

Zoltar: Yawwwn. Yep I'd say so. *He says getting up and walking sleepishly over to the food pack and taking out a sandwhich* We should get more supplies at the next town you know?

Mary: ...-.-; Oblivious as always....

Rahl: Wait...Clare! Oh no I left her int he dream realm with that Arrancar!

Dave: What?! Well then we need to remove her bug quickly! *Runs over to Clare then stops and looks up at Rahl* Ummm Rahl are you sure you saw Clare in your dream world?

Rahl: Pretty sure why?

Dave: ...Because she has no bug.

[Zoltar]

Mary: Wait then why isn't she waking up?

Dave: Hmm likely it has something to do with a personal battle of her own heart.

Zoltar: Well then should we try to talk to her in hopes she'll understand us and use our encouragement to fight back against the dream?

Fruck: Couldn't hurt could it?

Moonbeam: Freindship and love shall prevail!

Rusty: Boooop. (Aw shut it, gluepie.)

- Clare's Construct -

Clare: So....you want to surrender?

Bastille R: Why? I'm winning! *Aims a Cero Osculas at Clare and fires*

Clare: Yeaaaaaaaah I was afraid of that. *Sucks in air* Dragon Burst!! *Cancels out the Cero with a blast of blue white fire* Heh not so tough n- *Thoom!!! A cero is blasted at Clare from above as the explosion engulfs her* Aggh!!

Bastille R: *Smiles widely* Nyaahahahahaha!! Now what was it you were saying? *She said gripping Clare by the throat*

Clare: Hnnnnng *Struggles trying to free herself*

Bastille: Ha Ha Ha! That's what I thought. *Levels a Vero at Clare's head* Any last requests?

Clare: *Then she hears the voices of her freinds encouraging her and feels a sudden surge of power and her heart glows and releases a blast of pure light* Yeah actually GO BACK TO HADES! *Suddenly Oathkeeper appears in her hands which she uses to strike Bastille's Hollow Hole.

Bastille: N-nooooooooooogghhhhhhhhhhhh!! *Explodes in white flash which eventually resolves into the camp with all her friends around her*

Rahl's: Nicely done 'ol girl!

Dave: The Force is strong with you.

Moonbeam: Freindship is magic! And magic triumphs over all!

Rusty: Warble, gloop been bop. (Yeah, Yeah.)

Zoltar: You da mouse!

Mary: That was so ducking cool!

*Several hours later the sun came up and the gang got back on the road towards what they hoped was Raffles Castle, but without a map the group couldn't make hide nor hare of the countryside.*

Clare: So where are we now?

Dave: I don't know. We need a map.

Rahl: Doesn't Rusty have a radar?

Rusty:  Zorp zap pop beep beep.(Threw it out to make room for more weapons.)

Fruck: I'd track but honestly we dwarves are better at navigating underground rather than on top of it. If only we had a map.

Zoltar: Why don't we stop at that quaint looking village up ahead?

[Rahl]

Rahl: ... so much for a village.

Dave: Looks more like a circle of run down shacks to me.

They rounded the corner and small girl screamed dropping a pile of wood she was hold on the ground, running for one of the smaller hovels and slamming shut the door. Some more women peer out from doors and around corners holding frying pans and woodcutting axes, other cowered in corners holding screaming babies and small children. There was a loud BOOM as the door of the largest hovel slammed open. A man with graying short crapped hair and deep scars on his face and muscles like tree strunks stepped out.

??: And who the hell be you lot?

Rahl: I am Rahl, this is Lylac, Dave, Rusty, Zoltar, Marry, Fruckart, and Moonbeam. Were have been through alot recently and we're looking for somewhere to hold up for the night and possibly a map.

??: Oh well are you now? And I suppose you be wanting to stay here are you? Maybe have your way with some of my fine wives, eh?

Rahl: It's nothing like that, I'm already married and I can assure you the others have no such intentions.

??: Don't think I can't see you looking.

He half closes his eyes suspiciously and slaps the nearest girl, no older than 16 on the behind.

??: Well, you can call me Craster! And these beauty's are me wives and me daughters, some are a bit o' both. So I'm doubl'y protective see. I don't have any maps  but you can stay the night here if you want but lay finger or even an eye on me beauty's and you'll find a gap in your throat from ear to ear. Though you will be sleeping with in the barn tonight.

One of the younger children started crying even louder at that.

Craster: Damn you woman keep that child quiet.

The woman swept by grabbing up the child and running into another hovel.

Craster: Show our guests to their lovely quarters for the evenin'. Be so kind as to feed them some of that wonderful stew I'm so found of as well.

Another older woman stepped up fear and tears in her eyes, and lead them away to an open faced, long, and battered building.

Woman: You can sleep... here. I'll be back with your- stew.

Rahl: Thank you.

But the words fell on def ears as she walked away. He sniffles following her in the distance.

Dave: Its a good thing we found some... uhu... shelter. The snow is really starting to come down outside.

Zoltar: Yeah... but I don't know about this guy. Kinda shady with the daughter wives and all-

She had returned with bowls of steaming stew and unceremoniously dropped them on the ground spilling most but not all of the contents. And as fast as she had appeared she was gone. And they started eating. The broth was passable for dirty water and the meat was of unknown origin, but the more they ate the more enjoyable it became. The small fire they had made lit the room and figures danced among the flames their eyes closing as they drifted ever further into slumber.

Rahl looked around but there was nothing but darkness, every inch of his being was freezing as the snow fell carpeting his body and what other shapeless white lumps lye around him. His head was dizzy and any coherent though came with only the greatest effort. Every inch of his body felt so heavy, impossibly heavy as if he was chained to the ground but he felt no chains.

Things began to clear in his mind somewhat and he could make out the drifting flakes falling in the air by the moonlight, the trees around him, and then... movement in the dark. Shining specks of blue coming closer, behind them as it come closer revealed skin as white as the snow falling around them, and a sword glowing of pure crystal clutched in its hands...

[Zoltar]

(Ugh sorry, dudes!  I've been absent lately but I'm going to post Tomorrow if able! If not, Fishman can take my turn.)

[Rahl]

(Where are all da RP'rs at yo?)

[Zoltar]

(Huh weird. I thought Fish would get to this before I did.  Oh well let's just keep going till he gets back.)

Rahl: *Struggles and staggers* M-....Mon....

Dave: What is it Rahl- *Stops feels a little woozy* Ugh...Huh? I feel...weird.

Rusty: Beeop! (Dave I sense somebody approaching!) *Turns his dome to the intruders* Boop! (T-They're snow elves!)

Whitey: That's quite right, little machine! Aha ha ha!

Zoltar: Snow Elves? Like from Skyrim?

Mary: I wouldn't put it past this weird land. Also why aren't you staggering?

Zoltar: < < Why aren't you?

Mary: My body is made of ectoplasm. It's just a construct. Can't get sick like you can.

Zoltar: Oh well in that case. *Does a really bad ham acting job of swooning then falls over8 Ah...the swirling colors of shady green bearded elves!

Fruckert: Hmpf. Elves...I detest them as it's a traditional dwarved sterotype and a long standing tradition.

Whitey: Well we ain't got no problem with you! Eh, Frost?

Frost: Heh nope. *He says looking like Snow from FF13 but with long white hair*

Dave: Wh-what do you want....

Shiva: Heh! You'll find that out after we abduct you.

Lylac: Not a chance! *Green flames suround her head* Ifreet!

*Suddenly Ifrit appears in a blast of flames roaring and generaly being all impressive.*

Whitey: H-How did she do that? Snow! You said our human slaves would drug the stew, damnit!

Snow: Oh sure blame me. < < As if I control the humans. Probably only used a mild amount of the Chloroform we gave them.

Shiva: Damn humans and trolls. Can't trust either!

Lylac: Actually I've spent years drinking small amounts of several poisons and toxins.

Snow: O_O Why the hell would anyone do that?

Whitey: Inconceivable! She's seen Princess Bride and figured out how to beat the bad status "Poison" Oh ho ho! Very clever.

Snow: What about the dwarf?

Fruckert: Dwarves have excellent resistance to most poisons anyway. We rock, elves suck.

Shiva: *Cracks her knuckles* Oh is that a fact, beardo? *She asks coldly* Been a while since I was in a propper brawl.

Lylac: Don't even think about it! Elves may be good at magic, but Ifrit is the ultimate Fire Type! Go, Ifrit! Use

Shiva: Ice Make: Hammer! *Suddenly leaps into the air and smashes Ifrit through the side of the barn with an over sized hammer made of ice!*

Ifrit: HP {0/50,000} *It was super effective!*

Lylac: W-what kind of magic is that?

Snow: You need to watch more anime. *Slams the floor* Transmutation: Spikey Doom!

*Suddenly Spikes of earth shoot up at Lylac: *Twists to the side at the last second tearing her white dress* Augh what are you-

Whitey: *Slices her arm lightly* So sorry about this....

Lylac: Wh-what's....*Falls over seeming to be in a death-like state*

Shiva: Aww man! I wanted to use more magic on her.

Fruckert: Hmm I think I'm beign ignored, droid. I rather find that....*Pulls down sniper goggles* Anoying. Don't you, Rusty?

Rusty: Boop. (Yep.) *Suddenly opens a huge chest compartment to reveal a laser mini gun* Bop boop beeowrp! (Mini Gun primed, power surging....fire!) *Shoots*

Frucket: Wonderbuss!! *Takes out that huge blunderbuss and fires a canon ball at the three elves*

Shiva: Hmpf! You think that'll stop me?! Ice Make: Rhino!!

*Suddenly a huge Rhino made of ice appears and blocks all the shots*

Rusty: Boop! (Ice! My lasers can't melt that!) *Intesfies his fire power*

Rhino: *Is slowly melting*

Snow: *Suddenly appears behind Rusty and  Frucket*  Tranmute: Prison! *Puts a hand on Rusty and then bends his form aroudn Fruck so that Rusty is now a cargo container with a thick door*

Fruck: Well fruck me...That was damn impressive....for an elf.

Whitey: Ugh! You weren't supposed to do that, Snow! Now we got two less sacrifices for the Big Man.

Shiva: Bah we still got two powerful souls. A Jedi Knight and a Shinigami! The Big Guy will feast well this night!

Mary: Um...I'm still here in case anybody wants to know. *Hefting her sword and smiling psychotically*

Whitey: Oh come on. < <; You know what I've had it with this. Snow! Deal with her while we take the others to The Frozen Castle. You know the one.

Snow: *Smirks* Right. I'll deal with her. *Assumes a fighting stance*

Mary: Hmpf. *Swings her sword around in a crazy arc* If you think I'm letting them escape, you're so wrong! *Slices doward*

Snow: *Brings up his arm and blocks it effortlessly with metalic sound*

Mary: Huh?? The hell did you-

Snow: *Picks up a handful of flakes* Transmute: Ice Needles!! *Pellets Mary with them*

Mary: Augh! Rave Ripple! *Sends out a pulse destroying them before they can reach her* >-<; Damn you guys are almost as good as my nemesis: Rip. Heh he's- Hey what they?

*Suddenly the group disapears into thin air with blinding flash*

[Fisherson]

(Snow Elves!! ...I like Night elves better. XD)

*As Dave and the others disappeared Proud Mary found herself facing down the metal armed Snow Elf unoriginaly named Snow.*

Mary: You guys kidnapped my friends!

Snow: Yep.

Mary: For nefarious purposes?

Snow: That'd be right.

Mary: And you won't tell me till I beat you right?

Snow: You're very smart...So why aren't you running! *Transmutes a scythe into a sword and attacks*

Mary: *Easily blocks it* Ha! That-

Snow: *Swings with his auto mail arm* Iron Fist!!

Mary: *Is smashed in the face and sent flying through the wall* Ugh!! *She says planting her sword in the ground*

Snow: *Transmutes the snow into a surge of water* Tidal Blast!!

Mary: Oh heck no- *Is splashed*

Snow: *Rushes up* Freeze~ *Goes to transmute the water aroudn mary when suddenly he pauses his hand halfway there. His dark eyes shift over and see a rod like object pressed to his head. The owner of said rod-like object also had white hair, but it was short and spiky. His eyes were yellow and almost like that of a eagle but paler. His eyes were half lidded and and he wore a bored look on his mug. His clothes consisted of a winter special ops jacket, in black camo, thick grey trousers and big boots in black that matched his gloves.*

Jethro Harper: It's not nice to hit women. *He said still pointing the weapon at Snow*

Snow: A lightsaber? Don't think we're unfamilar with tech! Our master has taught us the ways of-

Jet: *Points the weapon at Snow's ear then presses a button and with splatter of silver blood and flash of red a streaking, charged slug shreds it into tatters.

Snow: AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!

Jet: Force Lance. Not a saber. *He said still pointing to the fallen elf* It's not that high tech, just something I picked up while I was on Megamartopia looking for a new weapon to replace my beloved Sig Saurer which that anoying woman who's trying to kill Dave sliced up to the point I couldn't even sell it for scrap. *Looks at Mary* You okay?

Mary: 8O That thing is soooo cool!

Snow: *Gets up* I'll transmute you're face! Give me that stupid thing- *Reaches for Jet*

Jet: *Tosses the Force Lance to Snow* Well since you asked so nicely.

*When the Lance touches Snow's hand suddenly it sends an electric current through his arm*

Snow: AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH! OoO It burns!!! *Can't let go*

Jet: Yeah. See it has isometic controls. In other words if somebody I don't want take it? Not only will it not fire it'll electrocute and usually stun whoever picks it up without my authorization.

Snow: *Faints face first*

Mary: Soooo cool! *o* Who are you?

Jet: Weapons Officer Jethro Harper of the Loyal Dewback crew. You can call me Jet. *He said retrieving his weapon then returning it to his side and turning to Mary* Now tell me what happened here so I can figure out how I'm going to have to rescue Dave. *He said looking slightly annoyed.*

[Rahl]

Meanwhile Rahl and Dave were bound in floating shells of ice conscious but not able to move an inch.

Whitey: Ah the gates of Icehold, a thousand feet tall impenetrable to any mortal weapon.

Shiva: Even gives me the chills... You better say the words, I tend to... forget them.

Whitey: Klaatu barada nikto

And from what had appeared to be a seamless wall a crack began to spread and the maw of a giant cave like entrance. They made their way inside the walls of solid unmelting ice lit by the fires of torches. As they passed through several hundred feet of wall they came to the exit behind which lay an enormous sprawling kingdom, its buildings seemingly carved from massive icy stalagmites, spiraling towers rising beautiful and deadly into the sky. The on in the center dwarf all the others around it, reaching into the clouds above; an overlord of ice and obviously the seat of power for the forsaken kingdom.

Rahl: *whisper* Dave, can you move.

Dave: No I've been trying but I might as well be Han Solo post Cloud City at this point.

Rahl: I can't either.

Whitey: Shut your faces or all I will give you will be breathing holes and you'll be lucky to have them.

In silence they ascended the central structure stairs seeming to go on for centuries.

Whitey: Lucky prisoners, can't you make me float like that too? I hate these damn stai-

Shiva: Enough, quit your whining or I will toss you back down them.

Whitey: Fine I-

They crested the last staircase in to the vast hall before them. An enormous fire pit in the center that seemed it would need to be fed entire houses many times a day to be kept alive.

Shiva: Keep your mouth shut from here out or we'll both regret it.

The passed into the hall hung with elaborate red and blue tapestries and banners. And at the back of the hall sitting upon a throne several hundred feet tall was the largest man Rahl had ever seen. A giant so immense that he seemed to fill the hall his skin cold hard blue, his features angular, beard falling from his regal face as massive cords of snow. His eye though were alive with light, like sapphires alive with fire able to look deep into your soul.

Shiva: Great god king Ullr, we bring you homage that you might ever bring winter to this wretched and unworthy world.

Ullr: Yooouu have done goooood. III sense muuuch poweeer in those yooouu bring to mee.

His voice boomed with power and carried as though a wind through a giant cave.

Shiva: Thank you god king Ullr.

The shells of ice rose into the air and landed as is pebbles in his hands. His eyes burning with the fire of untold centuries baring down upon them as the weight of mountains.

Ullr: Yoouur pooweer is great foor suuch small thingss.

Rahl: What are you...

Ullr: HHAAAA HAAA HAAA HAAAAAAAA Yooouu would thiink too compreehend meeee!?!? II am a god kiiingg. Laaast and greatttest of my brothers, whoom I through down. For a thooousand years aand a thooousand more we battled shaaking the earth in our waaake. Whaat am III? Whoo am III? II am hee who brings iiice and darkness to the wooorld, I am Ullr briiinger of the frooozen hell and god kiiing.

Dave: I think we might be in trouble this time...

[Zoltar]

(Since Rahl didn't say where Zoltar is I'll just improvise.)

*Meanwhile somewhere inside the scary castle place....*

Zoltar: Oooh...My head....

Lylac: Owww....my ***.

Zoltar: Eh? *Sits up and looks around the large featureless room they happen to be in* Weird, but strangely not the worst place I've woken up in.

Lylac: Zoltar? *She asks fumbling around* I-I can't see you.

Zoltar: That's cause there's no light. Here let me...Spirit Sheild!! *His hexigonal sheild flares to life but smaller and weaker looking that it was* Ah that's better. *Looks around and see's the room isn't featureless. It's made of ice!!* Huh? We're inside a giant ice cube? How'd that happen? *Goes to get up and realizes he can't as ice chains are shacked to his legs* Ah yes....*Shivers* Brr!! How'd they do that?

Lylac: Magic. This whole place has a after aura of strong magic.

Fruck: Aye, after magic.

Zoltar: Dawrf! You're still alive! Wait where's your mount?

Moonbeam: I'm still here! 

Zoltar: Great! Then smash the ice and free us!

Moonbeam:  What do you think I've been trying to do? This ice is like iron.

Lylac: It's Ice Maker Magic combined with Elvish. It's nearly impervious to any damage. What's worse is I can't summon big creatures in this little bitty space. Especially without knowing where the space is.

Fruck: Oh aye. We could be stuck on a perilous perch, prefated to plunge into a pyre!

Zoltar: @-@ Too many P's. Okay so let's take stock a moment. We can't escape from the inside, via Spirit Energy, Summoning or...wait what do you do, Fruck?

Fruck: My current skills are Yodel Level 9, Craft and Smith Level 9, Speak Random Dwarvish Level 4, Train Mount Level 3 and I have about a 80% proficiency with Pikaxes.

Zoltar: Smithing....Maybe we can use that!

Lylac: How?

Zoltar: Well Fruck can smith us something like a shaped charge or something.

Lylac: Using what?

Zoltar:  Turn out your pockets and let's see what we have.

*Everyone emptied their pockets...even the pony.*

Fruck: Hmm I may be able to make something out of this. *Takes Zoltar's driver's liscense and combines it with Lylac's tampons, then adds it to Moonbeam's Star Core.* Behold! The ultimate weapon! *Holds up a badly painted, crappy looking key blade*

Zoltar: .....T_T We're doomed!

[Fisherson]

(XD Bwhahaha! A crappy looking Keyblade. Oh man. That's what you guys get for trying to "Minecraft" your way out of the situation.)

- Back with Dave and the other sacrifices -

Ullr: WHA HA HA HA HA HA! Iaaaaammmm uncompreeeehnedable!

Dave: Um sorry to say this, but no you're not.

Ullr: *One of his huge eyes cracks open and focuses on Dave, the great blue-green glacier looking like a vast tundra reflecting Dave's confident face* Whaaaat? You daaaaaree challennnnnnge Ullrrrrrr?

Dave: Well no, just pointing some logic. See you're a giant monster that represents Eternal Winter, yes?

Ullr: Yesss?

Dave: Well by revealing this information you're allowing us to categorize you, ergo understanding you.

Ullr: Grrrrr!! You try my patience, hummmmmaaa-

Dave: I'm not human. *He said standing up* I'm a near human.

Ullr: HA HA HA HA! Nearrrr? How neeeaaaar?

Dave: Not very. *He said dramatically then suddenly struck the the sphere*........OWW! Fraaack! I think I broke my fist!! XO

Rahl: -  -; Great job, Dave.

Dave: Well at least I'm trying! Can't you even bring out some Fullbring powers?

Rahl: Fullbring? ....Hmm oh yeah Ichigo had those didn't he? Sadly I stopped emulating him except for using Zangestu. Besides I can't feel my connection to sword right now.

Ullr: ThAAaaaaaaaaaaat's becaaaaaaauuuuuuse he's here. *Said Ullr gesturing to Whitey who held up the blade*

Rahl: Uh "he's" a she. I changes allot about my biography. See I was going through this identit crisi-

Ullr: SILENENNNNNNEEEEENCE!! Your peeettttttttty liiiiiives concern me not! *He snapped* All I care about issssss yourrrr POWAH! *He said opening his mouth wide then suddenly chi from Dave, greenish blue, and black and red from Rahl become a miniture twister sucking upward into the monster's mouth*

Dave: AAAAAAAAAAAAUGGGGGGGGGGGGH!!

Rahl: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-*Falls foward as iut stops* Aaah....ah.....Wh-what the hell was that?

Dave: Felt like a Chi Siphon....Ugh...Owww...haven't been through one of those....in a lonnng.....lonnng time....*Falls facefoward into the sphere's beveled front* Ugggh...Wh-what did you do that for?

Ullr: Ahhh Poooooowaaah. With the powwwwwaah of a Jedi Exil and Spirit Reaper....I shalll beeeeee unnnnsttoooopppaaable. At looooonnnggg last I shall deeeefeeeeeat my nemeeeeeessssssisssss......

Dave: And who would that...be?

Ullr: Santa Claus.

Rave: Don't screw with me you over sized- *Suddenly the siphon is turned back on* AUUUUUUUUUUWAAAAAAAAGGGGH!!!

Ullr: I wouldn't dream of it. My mating habit are not only imcopatible with your kind, but they would kill you.

Dave: *Eyes glazed over* Ahhh....You're....speech....improved....why....?

Ullr: Because the power from a Jedi and a Spirit Reaper is revitalizing me! Soon I shall begin the Rite of the Winter Solstice and then...Hell willl freeze over! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!

Rahl: How fuckin....great....So why haven't you just ate us and got it over with already?

Ullr: Becasue I wish to suck all the delicious chi from your bodies then I will gnash my teeth on your, thin, crispy corpses. MMmmm....Corpses....

Dave: O-over my dead bod- Ahhhh never mind?

Ullr:....*Siphons more chi from the two heroes and the screaming begins anew*

-- Meanwhile with Jet and Mary --

*We see the inside of what looks like a cushy loungue of some kind. With jazz music being played and a basket of chocolates beign on the large white marble table. Jet is fiddling with the now-coffee machined Rusty's cord*

Mary: Uh where are we?

Jet: *Hooking Rusty up to an AC adapter* Hold on...Just gotta-*Click*- Okay there we go. You okay now, Rust bucket?

Rusty: Beeop boop...( Yep. Thanks...I thought I was scrap.)

Jet: You and me both. *Walks over to the marbled table and sits down taking of his jacket* Okay so here's the deal. Dave likes to travel via that old YT 2400 Milenium Falcon reject. Me? I prefer Hover Cargo.

Mary: Hover what? Is this a space ship?

Jet: Nooo. It can't even sail the seas, only cross small shallows. But it makes a great hanger for all kinds of things. Here let me show you:  *Holds up a picture* http://www.oocities.org/zoidbattleemperor/Hover_Cargo_REAL.jpg

Mary:..... It's a giant metal snail?

Jet: Exacta! Isn't it awesome? ^_^

Mary: ...That's one word for it. Um but how does this help us?

Jet: Because we're going to raid an enemy city right?

Mary: Well yeah.

Jet: This Hover Cargo is designed as a mobile base. Used to hold giant robotic animals, known as Zoids. Now it holds something much more potent as well.... *He said walking to the railing*

Mary: Hey how'd that railing suddenly get- Whooaaaa.....*She says speechlessly* Is that a-?

Jet: Yup.

Mary: But why do you need something THAT BIG. I mean it takes up most of your cargo bay!

Jet: *Nods* Because...Where Dave's at there's also something...big. Something big, ugly and that hates Christmas. *Eyes narrow* I can't allow it to live.

Mary: Uh...Okay so how far are we to the place where this big, mean Santa Claus hating monster lives?

Jet: Oh we arrived an hour ago. I was just getting us some coffee. It's going to be cold so you'd better drink up. *Hands Mary a coffee made by Rusty then drinks his*

Mary: >-<; Are you always this mysterious?

Jet: *Sips* Nah, mostly when I'm showing off. *He said flashing a smile* Okay! *Presses a button on the far wall* Yo, Boomer! We're here. Full stop, ready all weapons and prep our rides.

Mary: Rides?

Jet: *Turns around and smirks* Have you ever ridden an eagle? >=J

Mary: owo (If I ever make it back Zoltar I swear I'll be nicer to him! He's way less insane than this weirdo!)

- Back with the guys -

*Suddenly Mr Mountain stopped siphoning their chi*

Ullr: Hmmm I sense something....Something metalic. *Looks at Whitey about to say something when suddenly he takes several lazer blasts pelt him int he face* Raaaaaggh!!

Whitey: *Dodges a chunk of snow* M-master??

Ullr: Grrrr! *Rises up with Dave and Rahl still hovering near his face* ...The hell is that thing??

Dave; *Looks over to see what it is... and does a double take and smiles deliriously* He-hey Rahl...Tell...me...are you....seeeing....what...am....seein? Or have....I lost....my....mind?

Rah: *Stands up with some effort and looks out on the snow covered feild and doesn't see anything out of the ordinary. Wintery wastes, sparse tree's, a yetti walking her saber toothed tiger and ...a giant metal snail?* Huh? What in the name of the Soul King is that awful looking thing? *He said panting and trying to focus on it. It appeared to be a ugly metal snail that was shooting lasers at the huge mountain monster Ullr ...and also opening up it's shell and unleashing a full squadron of...metal eagles?!*

*The squadron sailed onward in a perfect delt formation with Jet at it's head and Mary taking charge of the second wing*

Jet: Now this **** is on! Whaaaaa hoooooo!!

Mary: Um...yeah you could say that. (Oh man! I'm going to die! Help! O_O; I don't know how to fly a giant metal bird!)

Ullr: Hmpf! Polllltrry....I detest it! *He said grinning with teeth like miniture hills* Let's see how much of your power I have asorbed shall we? Ice....BEEEEEEEEAM! *Fires a blast of pure icy energy*

Jet: Nunh nuna na na! Nunh nuna na na- na? Yaaarg! Break formation! Break formation! *he says as the huge glowing orb of doom approaches*

(BTW! If you never saw a Buster Eagle's awesome, but impractical design? This what they look like: http://www.macrossrpg.com/~cm/Zoid-BZ-009-0.jpg)

[Zoltar]

(Since Rahl hasn't responded I'm just gonna take a crack at this.)

*The Buster Eagle squadron attempted to break formation, but most of them were taken out by the sheer force of the ice beam and fell crashing and exploding*

Jet: *Manages to dodge it* You okay, Mary?

Mary: Y-yeah. Damn what was that thing??

Jet: A big boss that's going to take allot to defeat. *Punches some buttons on his console* Hmmm...Looks like we each have about two wings apiece. I was hopping we'd have more...Welp looks like we're doing this Star Wars style then.

Mary: What the heck does that mean? *looks worried*

Jet: Means we're flying down his throat and blasting him from the inside. *He said grinning and punching a button on his console* Jet to HG 1, Jet to HG 1. Come in HG one. Over.

Boomer from the Hover Cargo: You okay, Jet??

Jet: Mostly. Got ice beamed. It was a super effective. Over.

Boomer:    Stop saying "over". We're not a military you know.

Jet: Right. Okay so we lost more than half our Squadron. We're going to attempt a "Death Star Trench Run" and get the Siron Weapon in place.

Boomer: Alright what do you need from me?

Jet: *Grins* Covering Fire.

Boomer: Roger! Deck Command accepted. Preparing Phaser Banks....Charging....

Mary: What's the "Siron Weapon", Jet?

Jet: Just...something capable of destroying huge monsters.

Mary: Alright then. So you going to fly it down his throat?

Jet: Nope. You are. Your eagle is the one with the payload.

Mary: .....WHAT?!

-- Meanwhile in the Ice Cube Prison --

Zoltar: *Playing a Game Boy Color with a flash light* ...I need a DS.

Fruck: Aye that you do lad. *Stops and listens* Do my dwarf ears deceive me? No it is!

*Loud screeeeeeee-CRASH!! A Buster Eagle fell on the Ice Cube and smashed it open*

Zoltar: Freedom!

Snow Elf Gaurd 1: Hey you can't escape! Stop th- *The Buster Eagle's cannon falls over and crushes him*

Zoltar: *Catches his sword* ....Cool free loot! *Loots the body and puts on some heavier armor and passes the bow to Lylac* Here you go and some silver arrows.

Moonbeam: *Trots out* Yay! I'm not stuck in the ice anymore!  Now it's Stampin' time!! *Runs off with Fruckert on his back swining a Elvish Mace*

Fruck: Ha ha ha ha! Dwarven poweerrrrr!! *Swings and smashes with glee*

Zoltar: *Points his balde at where Dave and Rahl are suspended in mid air* Don't worry fellows, we're coming for you!...As soon as we figure out how to get up there. 

Lylac: Husband! *Makes a gesture* Valefor! *Suddenly Valefor appears and she gets on him zooming at them taking aim with her bow and shooting the sphere containing Rahl* Yaah!

[Rahl]

Jet: Ok so heres the plan. I'll lay down some fire and direct his attacks making him stand up from his throne. you advance from a lower more indirect root. Once you are in range of big and nasty over there fly under that things toga and directly upward. It will be narrow and dangerous from there but you have to move up that narrowing trench. Your only going to have one shot but there is a narrow ventilation shaft in a great chasm near the top, you have to deliver the payload directly into it. An inch to either side and it will not do enough damage to the... delicate inner working of the bastard.

Mary: You mean you want me to shoot this missle up that things ***?

Jet: Your not going to have much time to get out of there so do it fast and get the hell out of there.

Mary: You want me to shoot... this missle up that things-

Jet: Good luck pilot! *and with a salute he flies off creating the distraction

---- Meanwhile

Rahl and Dave fell from the sphere crashing down to the ground. Lylac managed to catch Rahl but David rearend fell to the ground with a loud thwack.

Dave: Heyyy-

*A noise came from the radio on his belt*

Jet: Dave come in the is Jet do you copy, come in this is Jet

Dave: Jet!?! is that you, of course its you, only you would drive around that damed ugly looking snail

Jet: Yeah its good to see you too, look you guys have to get out of there. Mary is about to make this guy rethink his sexuality and you guys have to get out of there

Rahl: What!?

Jet: Just get out there its going to get real nasty real quick.

Mary: Jet you really want me to shoot this missile up that thin-

Jet: Just leave it to us guys, Jet out!

Rahl: Sounds like we need to get out of here

A whoosh ing sound came from overhead as a drop ship landed near there Rusty mounted on top.

Rusty: Beeep Bop Boop!

Dave: Right on lets ditch this bitc...

*thwang thwang thwang*

Arrows were flying from the air bouncing off of the shell of the ship as more white shinned trolls poured into the halls and a hail of arrows shot out at the group. Zoltar's sword spun in the air warding off the arrows that would have hit them.

Rahl: Just go!

They rushed into the ship and began gaining altitude heading for the snail ship. More clangs sounded as they flew.

Dave: Arrows... psh... really?

A split second later an arrow shot into one of the turbines catching the blades and setting it aflame.

Fruck: Really... just couldn't wait until we were out of range to say something witty?

As they spun out of control but still in the general direction of the snail.

----- Meanwhile

Ullr: Raaaaawwwwwwrrr. Enough of this!

A beam of ice shot out of his hand as he stood up throwing all of his power into it. Clipping of the engines in back as Jet dodged the brunt of the blast.

Jet: Now Mary, do it now!

Mary: If I make it through this I'm to put on of these missiles up your *** too JET!

The bird swept under the toga sparks flying from the landing gear she barely passed between the thick fabric and the floor. She swept the stick back as fast and as hard as she could only narrowly avoiding the cloth in back as well as she began shooting upwards each massive pillar to her sides growing hairier and narrower as she flew. As she narrowed her target she pulled down her targeting visor but then closed her eyes and shoved it away.

Jet: What are you doing? Don't close your eyes! Are you using the force or something?!?!

Mary: No if you were looking at what I'm looking at you would close your eyes too!!

Jet: You have to open them! You have to hit that mark!

Mary: But its so...

Jet: Spare me the details fire!

And with that the missile was away and all she could do was 180 and shoot back out of there a scream of pain to tear apart the heavens sounding in her wake...

[Fisherson]

*As Ullr exploded into rocky fragments that rained down on the city Dave and the others ran from the falling debris*

Dave: Gyaah! *Grabs his intercom* Jet!! What the heck did you put in that bomb?!

Jet: Isn't obvious? Siron is what spelled backwards?

Dave: N-O-R-I-....Noris?! Wait you put Chuck Noris in a bomb and shot him up the anus of a giant mountain monster?!

Jet: Do I look crazy? Wait. Don't answer that. >.> Look I just took some of Noris' beard fibers and combined them with Neutron Star Cores and well...It worked! Aha ha ha ha! All too easy. Speaking of...I hope Mary made it out of the blast.

Mary: Aaaaaaaaaah! *She says her buster eagle streaking past Jet and crash landing int he snow smoking*

Jet: ....Hey I was just talking about you! *He says cheerfully*

Mary: *Opens the cockpit and falls down to the snow* Ugh....I'll....kill you for this....Jet....@-@

Jet: Hey! Look on the bright side, babe! We defeated Ullr and upset the political balance of this entire nation!

Dave: Actually that is a good thing. These Snow Elves were so vile they likely were allies of Raffles! No doubt he's watching all of this right now....

--- On a hilltop far away ----

Green Haired Knight: So...These are the fools who challenge Lord Raffles? ...Impressive.

One eyed ninja: Yes. They defeated Ullr and laid ruin to his kingdom, that is impressive Lord Kairou. (Kye-Roww)

Kairou: *Smirks his hair flowing int he wind kept out of his eyes by a black head band* Yes. It'd be a shame to rob them of it...Eh Clare?

Clare: *In Shinro form wearing a black crown and matching armor* Yes, Lord Kairou.

Manny AKA "Charaman": You've been useful as a tool, Clare, gathering data on them. *Holds up trading cards with our heroes stats on the paper they are printed on* Now we can crush them.

Kairou: Correction. Wahba will crush them. *Grins* Crush them in their giant metal snail like a beer can! Whahahaha...But not yet. *Turns to face empty air* Lord Raffles wishes them to have...a proper burial.

Manny: Ahh...The Ravine of Ruin?

Kairou: Yes. It's the shortest path to the Troll Kingdom.  There we will set up Wahba. *Turns* For now we will follow them in stealth. *Gestures and Klingon Bird of Prey appears and he, Manny and Clare board it then it recloaks and they ascend to the sky establish a high geo synchronous orbit keeping Dave and the Hover Cargo on their radar*

-- On the Hover Cargo --

Dave: *Watches the few surviving Buster Eagles land while a tow cable brings in the ones who only half made it back.* Got them all, Jet?

Jet: A-yep. *Makes a motion* Boomer, close the bay doors will you and let's get the heck-

*Ting! Twang! Clang!*

Rusty: Beeop boop! *He says with his rada dish up* (I detect several life signs outside, all of them Snow Elves with spears and bows trying to find a way in)

Jet: What-!? Awwh crap! I just had this thing painted.

Rahl: Worse than that, they may find a way in and murder us while we're all cleary exhausted.

Zoltar: *Covered in elf blood* I'm...huff....puff....not.....*Falls on his face* Tired....

Mary: *Brandishes her sword* I coudl go scrap 'em off. Be a good workout before I kill your freind, Dave.

Dave: No we need to avoid more violence. I say we out run them. Can this Metal Slug do that?

Jet: Heh! Ofcourse it can!  *Presses an intercom* Boomer, full steam ahead! To the Ravine of Ruin. *looks at the others* We'll scrape 'em off the sides AND out run the crowd. Heh! ^_^ Now who's up for RPG maker games and hot coco?

Dave: I dunno what ones you got?

Jet: Wrath of Gaia, Begining of the End and Misadventures-

Dave: Huh?? How'd you get a copy of that? It's not even finished!

Jet: Vortex Manipulator.

Rahl: What's that?

Dave: *Snorts* Primitive time travel device from the DW universe.

Jet: *Shrugs* So you in or out?

Dave: *Shrugs* I may as well see what I did five years from now. *He says laughing*

*With that our heroes played video games and drank coco....little realizing there was a danger within*

--- In the top most section ---

*A ventillation duct is kicked in and a bloodier and slightly more shabby looking Shiva and Whitey land in the auxilary control room*

Shiva: Oww....my back...Hidding in that ventalation shaft hurts more than in the movies.

Whitey: Yes. *Looks out a window at his ruined land ...and smiles a mad smile* But don't worry! Our pain and suffering will soon pale in comparisson to theirs! Ehe he he he!

Shiva: Huh? I thought you hated Ullr.

Whitey: I did, but I wanted to be the ONE WHO KILLED HIM! XO Then his power would be transfered to me! Not that....Bird piloting woman. Come! Let us find her and begin my ascension to godhood.

Shiva: Sigh...Whatever. *Follows Whitey as they wonder the Hover Cargo looking for Mary*