Charas Pub

[ZeroKirbyX]

ZKX: Lawyers!? I thought they were dog walkers!
Razor: Do they look like dog walkers?
ZKX: Yes.
Razor: Their not.
ZKX: Then why did they take my dogs?
Razor: We're in hell. My guess is to eat them.
ZKX: Oh thats not so- FOOFYKINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Moosetroop11]

ZKX: YOU!!! Did you just eat my FOOFYKINS?
Lawyer: Erm,..
*Thousands of Lawyers run to the scene*
Mob of lawyers: MY CLIENT HAS NO COMMENT AT THIS TIMEEEE!!!

[Meiscool-2]

MIC: In hell, there are 1.2 lawyers for every 1 non-lawyer.
Lawyer: I object!

[WarxePB]

1/5 of a lawyer: *raises arm*

[Meiscool-2]

1/5 of lawyer: *kicks Warxe*
Warxe: Owe, what'd he do that for?
Lawyer: I have no clue.

[Razor]

5 hours later
Lawyer: My client is suing the defendant for $500000.
Warxe: On what ground?!
Lawyer: You were blocking his movement of his foot, causing to meet an immediate halt. This violates the rules of Hell under section G7 paragraph 8.
Warxe: But he said he kicked me! And he didn't know why!
Lawyer: We would like to raise the suit to $1000000.
Warxe: WHAT! WHY?!
Judge: Order in the court! You may proceed.
Lawyer: ...on the ground that my client is now insane.
1/5 of a lawyer: Yeah, I don't know things. I'm insane now. Money plz.
Judge: A convincing arguement if I've ever heard one.

2 hours later
*Warxe walks away from the courtroom, which sudden blows up*
Warxe:

[Meiscool-2]

Voice: Hold it right there!
Warxe: Hmm?
Lawyer as Voice: We have a witness saying he saw you walk away from the courthouse as it was asploding.
Warxe: And?
Lawyer: We need you to come in a line up please. Resist and we will have to do something drastic.
Warxe: Like what?
Lawyer: We will take you to court.
Warxe: Ok, you win.

*at the lineup*
Lawyer: Ok witness, now he can't see you, so please tell us which one did it.
Zero: That one, the one with the really gay looking eyepatch.

[WarxePB]

Warxe: IT'S NOT A FRIGGIN EYEPATCH! *explodes*
Zero: ...in that case, it was him. *points to some demon*
Lawyer: I see. *takes the demon away*
Warxe: *unexplodes* Thanks. You saved my skin there.
Zero: *hem* *hem*
Warxe: Right. *hands Zero a bottle of vodka*
Zero: Shweet! *dashes off*
Warxe: Hmm, I wonder what happened to the rest of them...

*meanwhile*

Razor: Seriously, Drace. This was a GREAAAAAAAT idea.
*Razor, Drace, MIC and Grandy are hanging by their feet being poked by demons with pitchforks*
Grandy: Yeah. "I just have to have that pie!" Good going!

[Bluhman]

Bluhman: Why am I still up here!?!?

--

Grandy: Ok... So how are we going to get out of this mess?
MIC: Well, first, ow, We have to, ow, wait for these demons, ow, to stop poking us. Ow.
Razor: How long will that take?
Drace: Pie!
MIC: Maybe about 3 hours, fourteen minutes, and fifteen seconds.
Grandy: How did you come to that conclusion!? That's amazing!
MIC: Well, it's the closest number to pie in time...
Razor: Well, that's not too long.

*3 days, 14 hours, and 15 minutes later*

MIC: Well, they're finally stopping... I think I was just a LITTLE bit off...
Razor: Ok, now what? We can't free ourselves, can we? Our backs aren't strong enough to reach all the way up there!
Grandy: Hey! Here comes Bluhman... And he's got a hole in his face...
Razor: What happened to you?
Bluhman: I shot myself in the face because the pub was boring back up in the real world. On another note, can I go ahead and have pie with you?
G+R+MIC+D: NO.
Grandy: You'll just get stuck up here and suffer!
Razor: Just don't do it! It's not good pie!
MIC: If you did, then who would free us!?
Drace: Pie is all mine, damnit! Stop threatening!
Bluhman: Bah, what's the worst that could happen?

*Bluhman reaches for the pie, but behind him, a gigantic, rotting head rises out of the ground, along with a gigantic, rotting arm.*

GRH: NO! MY PIE! WANT PIE NOW!
Bluhman: Argh!

*Bluhman tries to shoot the monster with his lazor pistol, but fails miserably. He decides it's best if he played dead.*

Bluhman: X.X
GRH: You're already dead, no matter what you do.
Bluhman: Says who?
GRH: Says the law!
Bluhman: Stop making up random laws! I'm an experienced lawyer! I KNOW my law!
GRH: You DO? Huh?
Bluhman: Well, There is a reason I wear this suit, now is there?

[Archem]

Archem: *boiling in a nearby vay of oil* Zing!
Mimo: *also in said vat* Oh shut up already! You're giving me a headache!

[Moosetroop11]

Drace: The pie! So close... I can almost touch it!
Razor: Wait! What's that?
MT11: PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
*Eats pie*
Drace: WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!?

[Drace]

Originally posted by Moosetroop11
Drace: The pie! So close... I can almost touch it!
Razor: Wait! What's that?
MT11: PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
*Eats pie*
Drace: WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!?

Drace: *sniff* *sniff*... that was my *sniff* birthday pie *sniff* *sob*.

[Meiscool-2]

MT11: Awww *regurgitates pie* Here Drace, you can have it.

[Drace]

Drace: Ewwwww! MIC touched it! *burns it*

[Meiscool-2]

MIC: Hehe, what an idiot. He could've sued me for touching his pie, but instead he burned the evidence. Such a loser!