Charas Pub

[Archem]

Archem: *whispering* Hehehe! He doesn't even suspect that there's no Cupcake God! It's so awesome being a Cupcaketheist!
Warxe: *whispering* Hehehe! While he's busy thinking he's out-witted me, I can steal his soul for future use!
Archem: *whispering* I can hear you really well, you know. We're in a cave; everything is amplified by the echoes.
Warxe: Then why were you whispering earlier?
Archem: I'm what they call a "schizophrenic".

[WarxePB]

Warxe: By the way, Archem, look over there.
Archem: What? *looks over there*
Rick Astley: Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down...
Warxe: *escapes*
Archem: Dammit, not again!
Rick: Wait a minute, I'm not dead!
MT: Oh, sorry. I ate you two minutes in the future.
Rick: What?
MT: Just wait two minutes.
***
MT: *eats Rick*
Rick: I don't understand how that works.
MT: It's a proprietary secret.

[ElrohirTiwell]

Elrohir *Starts building a cafe in the middle of hell from some rocks and a huge rope for no particular reason*

[X_marks_the_ed]

Ed *sits with a stupid look on his face.*

Ed: Wait a second! I CAN fly! Just not in this world. *Becomes invisible and reappears next to Warxe with a pair of black wings and JeT.
Ed *Pushes JeT back into the pit.*
Archem: What? now you can fly?
Ed: Don't be stupid. Chickens can't fly.
Archem: Rooster.
Ed: What?
Archem: You're technically a Rooster.
Ed: Lay off the drugs, man.
Warxe: So, what do you guys think?
Archem: We're not impressed.

*Lucas, MT, and the other guy finally crawl back out.*
Lucas: ...and that's why I like Pokemon so much...
Moosetroop: Someone hold me.
Other guy: (Unimportant stuff)

------------------------------------------------
Lucas: You guys don't like me?
Moosetroop: Other guy? Who are you again?
Other Guy: Ugghhh..... PABLO!
Moosetroop: Just checking...
Lucas: Ughh!! Are you two ignoring me!?
Moosetroop: Sorry, Lucas. I just wanted to know.
Lucas: Tch. Fine.
Ed: Lucy! Come fight Super Warxe with us! We need the experience!
Lucas: Okay!
Warxe: So it's three against one! Archem, Ed, and Lucy vs Super Warxe. Seems fair to me.
Lucas: Tch. We'll win for sure.
Warxe: Tell me, is there any reason you want to fight me?
PABLO: Hemmorhoids!
Moosetroop *ignoring attention whore*: Even if you were to win, what would Super Warxe drop?
PABLO: Gee, it sure is boring around here!
Lucas *ignoring*: A Super Eye! To see dead things!
Warxe: Meh. I'll just drop my coat.
Ed: Ed likes Warxe's coat!
---------------------------------------------------
These lines mean nothing.

[WarxePB]

Warxe: Hate to break it to you, Ed, but after being class changed into a Resident of Hell, I'm only at level 1. Even if you defeated me, you wouldn't gain much experience.
Ed: What about drops?
Warxe: I already told you, if you REALLY want it, you can have my coat.
Archem: No, like loot.
Warxe: Ohhhhhhhh. Hmm... *looks through stuff* My Big Emerald, a couple of apocalyptic spellbooks, some rings, a mushroom, two flasks of non-Euclidean water... but you have a 2%, 10%, 5%, 30% and 28.4% chance of getting those items, respectively.
Ed: Will you respawn?
Warxe: Sure, why not.
Ed: Score! Let's go!


*BATTLE! SUPER WARXE VS. ED, ARCHEM AND PABLO*

Warxe gets initiative!
-Warxe: Let's dig through my list of copyrighted attacks... Final Flash, Shoryuken, Ice Tornado, Dark Magic Attack, Luminare, Climhazzard... wait, I don't have a sword.
Warxe uses Super Luminare!
Pablo is unaffected!
Archem takes 3490 damage! It's super effective!
Ed takes 263 damage!
-Archem: You call that an attack!?
Archem uses Shadows of Hell!
Super Warxe takes 510 damage!
Pablo uses Flee!
Can't escape!
Ed uses Triple Rooster Kick!
Pablo takes 10 damage!
Super Warxe takes 621 damage!
-Pablo: Hey! Watch where you're aiming!
-Warxe: ...Triple Rooster Kick?
-Ed: Hey, you're the one writing this!
-Warxe: Hey, that's right.
Super Warxe uses Healing Factor!
Super Warxe regains 2000 HP.
Super Warxe gains the Regen status.
Archem uses Possess!
Archem possesses Pablo!
-Pablhem: Damn straight!
Pablhem uses Mega Shadows of Hell!
Super Warxe takes over 9000 billion damage! Super Warxe is defeated!


Warxe: *powers down* Okay, fine, you win. Here, have a Ring of Greater Beauty. *throws said ring at Ed*
Ed: What?
Warxe: Also, I'd be careful about using that. I welded a Ring of Improved Libido and a Ring of Terraforming to that thing.
Ed: I can see the first two thing as a way to score a quick girl, but Terraforming?
Warxe: ...golems.
Ed: Ohhhhhhhhh.
Archem: I don't get it.
Pablo: Well, when a man loves a woman very much, but the woman doesn't love the man back, the man is forced to, uh... direct his urges elsewhere.
Archem: Ohhhhhhhhh- wait, where's my share of the loot?
Warxe: Pablo has it.
Pablo: This water tastes like a tesseract. *folds into an extradimensional shape*

[X_marks_the_ed]

Ed: Neato! *Puts on Ring* It's broken.
Warxe: You're broken.
Ed: Yeah, but the ring is too.

[Grandy]

Pablo*while in a fourth, possibly fifth or twelfth dimension*: Hey, I can see a way out. It's right in that direction. *his arms disappears when he points*

[Archem]

Archem: Thank goodness that the ethereal aren't affected by dimension shifts!

Archem: Wait, why do I have a set of Grandy arms growing out of my back?

[WarxePB]

Warxe: Don't worry, Archem. *grabs Pablo's arms and yanks him out of Archem*
Archem: I feel... violated.
Pablo: You're telling me.
Ed: Hey, I got the ring to work! *suddenly looks a lot more attractive* Oh yeah

[Archem]

Archem: Hey, Pablo, are you aware that your arms look suspiciously similar to Grandy's arms?
Pablo: What? I don't know what you mean! Who's this "Grandy" chap? I don't have to listen to these accusations! Harrumph! *storms out of the dimension*

[Grandy]

*Pablo reappears inside M.C. Escher's "Relativity"*

 Pablo: Well,  this is awkward. *Looks left(?)* Oh, hey there, me.
 Grandy: Well, I do say, it's so awkward.
 Pablo: So, are you a future me?
 Grandy: Oh, no, I'm just the probability of being you that is not you.
 Pablo: Sounds complicated.
 Grandy: It's a living. Or not. See, I was never technically born.
 Pablo: Awkward. Hey, is that us over there? *points to a set of stairs, Grandy and Pablo are talking there and pointing to them*
 Grandy: Oh, not again, you better go back to your dimension, this one here will be ripped apart.
 Pablo: Why so?
 Grandy: It has to do with the fact there is four of us.
 Pablo: Well, if you say so. Better get going, it was good talking to myself.
 Grandy: I do hope you show up again, but in a maximum of two of yourself.
 Pablo: Sure will, sure will.

 *goes inside a door*

 Archem: *mumbles something incomprehensible*
 Warxe: What is it, boy? Jimmy fell on a well again?
 Archem: *vomits*
 Grandy(not Pablo anymore): Well, that was unpleasurable.
 Archem: Did you HAVE to use my stomach as a wraping point back here?
 Grandy: Yes. Has to do with having too many of me around.
 Warxe: Oh, those darn probabilities, aways screwing when I want to create a multi-temporal rift.

[Archem]

Archem: This is weird. Let's go back home.
So they did. Unfortunately, there was an interdimensional flood that dried everything out, causing them to all be homeless and still in another dimension.
Archem: Well that was pointless.

[X_marks_the_ed]

Ed: So how will we get out of this one, gang?
Grandy: We could always try calling a cab.
Archem: Yes. Cabs are quite common around here.
Grandy: TAXI!

*An inconspicuous taxi cab drives up to them and lets them in.*
*All take a seat.*
Driver: Where to?
Ed: Back to the Pub.
Driver: Alright.
*Flashing lights appear on the roof of the car.*
Driver: Welcome to the Cash Cab! It's a TV Game show hosted right here in my taxi! So, you want to play?
Archem: Do we have a choice?
Grandy: Guess not. We'll play.
Driver: Great! These first questions are worth 25 points each.
Ed: What if we get three strikes?
Driver: .... nothing...
Grandy: That sucks.
Driver: So, you guys wanna play?
Archem: We already said yes.
Lucas: My only line in this script.
Driver: Great!

[Grandy]

Driver: First question: What..... is your name?

[Grandy]

Driver: Second question: What..... is your quest?