Charas Pub

[Araloth]

*Araloth walks in the pub*
Araloth: wait a min... how can I walk in the pub, when i didnt even walk out yet?

[Osmose]

*Moose eats a peanutbutter jellly sammich*
Red: Where were you?
Moose: Eating my sammich.
Red: Before that.
Moose: Making my sammich.
Red: Before that!
Moose: Walking to the kitchen.
Red: BEFORE THAT!
Moose: Thinking about making a sammich.
Red: BEFORE THAT BEFORE THAT BEFORE THAT!
Moose: Thinking about what to do to stop my tummy from growling.
Red: TEN HOURS BEFORE THAT!
Moose: Thinking about what I would make if, ten hours later, I was hungry.
Red: *sigh* Okay, so before you ever even contemplated being hungry, what were you doing?
Moose: I was being... wait, wait a minute, I'm a Black Mage. Black Mages are robots. Robots don't get hungry!
*reaches in coat and pulls out Shindo*
Shindo: That was a good sammich. Thanks.
Moose: No problem.

[El Presidente]

Razor: So... How's the busboy business going?
El Prez: Pffft! Would you believe it... I mean they fired me because I tried to take over the company!
Razor: How did you do that?
El Prez: I walked into the boss's office and said "I CRUSH YOU!" and he fired me on the spot.
Razor: Is that all?
El Prez: Oh, there was also the poisoning of all his customers with a mind-control serum that I put in the after-dinner mints which he wasn't very pleased about.
Razor: So what, Everything I sell here has mind-control serum in it.
*Person in background clutches their heart and falls to the floor*
El Prez: Is it really neccessary to put the poison bottle next to the mind-control serum bottle?
Razor: Yes. Yes it is.
Red: You're an idiot...

[Darkfox]

Ace: *sets up a few gambling tables* Heheheh...

*later on many customers are wearing barrels*

[El Presidente]

*Uncle Sam walks in wearing a barrel*
El Prez: Why are YOU wearing a barrel? You didn't lose your money gambling here...
Uncle Sam: I thought it was the latest fashion, see, Calvin Klein barrel!
Red: You're an idiot...

[Xen]

*Xen enters with a barrel lodged onto his head*
Red: AHHHHH!!! BARREL-HEADED DRAGON!!! *runs away*
Razor: It's just Xen...
Xen: *with muffled voice due to barrel* WHO put this barrel on my head? *rips barrel off head* Ahhh...that's better...

*Xen looks over to see some gambling tables*

Xen: OOOOHHHH!!! GAMBLING TIME!!!

*A little dragon angel appears*

Dragon angel: No Xen! Don't do it! You will lose all your money and go to dragon hell for gambling!
Xen: Yeah, but I evil! So I'm gonna go to hell anyways...
Dragon angel: *pauses* Good point. *vanishes*
Xen: Now where was I? Oh yes...

 10 minutes later...

Xen: WHO put this barrel on my head?

[Drace]

Red: My barrel is better. It's a real brand.
Drace: Whoohoo!!!!
Red: What's up with him?
Darkfox: He won 90 times and won over 10 billion gil.
Ace: Hehe, one more play?
Drace: Why not? *plays and loses*
But how?
Ace: I'm a god beast remember. I controled your luck.
Drace: Na'ah, my cured of the luck virus.
Ace: The what?
Ace Rimmer: The luck virus was discoverd by the Red Dwarf crew members Lister, Arnold Rimmer, Kryten and Cat.
Ace: What the hell are you still doing here?
Drace: *Injects the luck virus, steal money from Ace and due to the luck will never be discoverd*
Ace: Who stole the money?!
Drace: It was Uncle Sam.
Ace: Get him!!! *runs after Uncle Sam which leads in some Scooby-Doo scenes*

[Razor]

Razor: Well, I have a plan that'll get everyone out of barrels, and make me richer.
'*random passerbyer*: do tell!
Razor: Well...
--------
10 minutes later
--------
*everybody's naked*
Red: How the Hell was this supposed to help?
Razor: I don't know, the ten minutes between then and now never happened! Its a time jump!
Red: Where are the barrels?
*flaming pile of wood in the corner of the bar*
Razor: Well, uh, baring the circumstances, $25 extra for beer!
Ace: Woo! $25 for extra beer!
Razor: Not quite.

[WarxePB]

Warxe: Look!
*points out of window*
Random N00b 22: OMG it's teh godzila
Godzilla: Grrah grr snap narf roar!
Razor: Huh?
Godzilla: Grra... oh, screw it. I just want a beer.
Razor: That'll be 200 dollars.
Godzilla: GRR! THAT'S ROBBERY! *eats Razor*
Warxe: Yaaay! Free beer!
Godzilla: *eats Warxe* Anyone else?
*collective "No" from the pub*
N'tor: Wait. Why are you here? I didn- *cut off as he is eaten by Godzilla*

[Darkfox]

Ace: *snaps finger, Drace is found and money is returned, he's executed by beheading by Zombie King Henry the 8th, but like always Drace comes back, this time as a little red headed dwarf named Bobby*

Carbunka: Uhhhh... ok? Wait... does everybody include me?

[WarxePB]

Xios: So... Godzilla. What brings you here?
GZ: I'm bored of destroying cities. I just want to relax and drink beer.
Kratos: Indeed...
Samurai Guy: Hey! Tha-
Kratos: Don't make me cut your other hand off!
Samurai Guy: Yes, Mr. Kratos, sir... *walks away*
GZ: Uuugh, my stomach... *pukes out Razor*
Razor: MY BEER! *slaps the barflies trying to get free beer*
Zero: Awwww...
Xios: So, what do you think happened to Warxe?
Kratos: I suspect we'll be seeing him soon...

[Osmose]

*sneakily makes a phonecall to Mothra telling him how Godzilla was talking smack about him again*

[Darkfox]

Darkfox: Don't threaten Samurai Guy! *pulls out a bannana, eats it then tosses it's peel in a random place and walks off*

Carbunka: *Looks around* Guess not.

(Btw, Mothra is a female moth)

[El Presidente]

Uncle Sam: *running away from Ace scooby-doo style slips on Darkfox's banana*
El Prez: LOL!
Razor: Did you just say 'lol'?
El Prez: Too many questions, just give me another white wine spritzer!

[Osmose]

*Mothra flies in*
Moose: Heh, Godzilla, Mothra's gonna kick yo *** for talking crap about him!
Mothra: I'm a WOMAN! *eats Moose*