Rant

[I Have a Sandwich]

Know what really steams my bacon? We'll get to that later, but why is bacon fried? I mean, whose genius idea was it to call
something which is fried an name which involes saying another form of cooking? You have to say bake before you can finish saying
bacon, but its a fried food? WHere is the logic in that? Thats like saying you have to have ice to make ice cream. Well, you do,
but lets not get into that now shall we? From now on, I propose that everyone in this world thusly calls the frocess of cooking
bacon baking. You bake bacon. Anyone who insists that you must fry bacon, hit them with a hammer. There's another thing which
makes no sense, hammer. While we're on the suject of foods, why do they call it a hammer? It doesn't involve ham. You don't
drive in nails with a chunk of honey glazed ham. Call hammers metal death sticks. It works

Then there's colors, they suck. First they don't exist, they have to have light to exist. Lazy bastards. Instead oif being like
everything else, they have to mooch off of the light. I mean, come on, GET A JOB! If you have to pay to be seen on your own, so
be it. If we could just convince the light to stop giuving into them, the world would be a better place. But then theres that
lazy jerk light! "Oh, I need a source to create me.". Fire, this is directed at you, stop it. Now. You're no better off what
with your need for fuel, so don't think you're exempt from any of this. Get to work. I don't care if you have to deliver papers
door to door, you need to get out there and learn how to live in the real world! What will your kids think oif you when they see
that you're still living off of the life and work that the trees and worked to create. You. Sicken. Me.

And what about pennies? They're orange. I mean c'mon, the man who helped free slaves is put on a coin the color of a mexican?
Not right. We should make the penny out of like, coal or something. That way, when ever anyone touches a penny, they get really
black fingers. Whenever you see someone that doesn't have black fingers you know hes rich and you know hes safe to mug.
Literally get out your #1 Lover coffee mug and hit him REALLY hard. But make sure theres no coffee in there. Why does coffee
have to be so hot? Is it that hard to make coffee thats cold anbd doesn't cost $40 from Starbucks! You're feeding the monster.
First they have really bad coffee, and then they make you pay as much for a new car. Not just a new car, but a damned Escalade.
Now those are stupid. "Lets make a giant suv and make idiots think its cool". Yes. The Escalade is fun for hit and runs, but it
must be a bitch to check at the airport. Thats gotta be more tan the $25 over weight fee.

And now I go out, keaving you with this note: If you ever buy a penguin, don't feed it chili. Those stupid fish can't handle
just a little tabasco. Stupid fish.

[Meiscool-2]

I don't wanna go on a RANT here, but America's foreign policy makes about as much sense as Beowolf having sex with Robert Fulton at the first Battle of Antetum. I mean when a neo-conservative defenstrates it's like Raskalnakov filibuster-dioxymonohydrostinate. America needs it's Bacon straightend.

[Trevlac]

I think this was an attempt to be like Maddox. If so, you fail. If it was an attempt to be funny, you damn-well succeed!

I write satirical rants also.

[Kijuki_Magazaki]

I smell plageraism, or a real bad case of stunned senseless occasion to rant about nothing.

btw i microwave bacon.

[I Have a Sandwich]

Originally posted by Kijuki_Magazaki
I smell plageraism, or a real bad case of stunned senseless occasion to rant about nothing.

btw i microwave bacon.

Plagurism? Why Kij, I'm hurt.

[Linkizcool]

Just so you all know, I don't eat bacon. It makes my stomach queasy when I eat it with bread and butter.

[Desimodontidae]

Somehow I feel Im missing the point of something.

[Linkizcool]

I know what you mean. I think were on to something here.

[Razor]

Dumbest thing I've seen today second only to those "Jew" threads.