my rough half plot line

[dragon11137]

ok well for those people who like critisising peoples plot lines heres your chance lol

anyways heres my plot line and please only helpful critisism
(ecscuse my bad typing)

          prelog: slowly a women dressed in a silky kimono asends a set of rocky steps cut into the face of the tallest mountain in a seiries of mountain ranges. as she assends the stairs a couple people dressed in samurie armour emerge and then quickly walk out of sight. as the women in the kimono ascends the stairs a huge opening to a cave apears, gaping out from the side of the mountain. as she enters the cave you can see a large demon npc attacking/eating her own eggs wich are lying recklessly around the cave. once only 5 eggs are leftthe women in the kimono draws a bow and shoots the demon with an arrow. the demon retreats to the far end of the cave wounded badly. the women then grabbes the babys from the eggs (wich have now hatched) and retreats out of the cave.

          cinema/prelog: the women places a small pendant with a multi designed sead attached to it, onto one of the small demon childrens necks (these demon cildren look very human) and says,"this it should be safe with you". end of cinema.

          prelog continued: 3 samuria warriours then aprouch the women in the kimono, and attack her, as she is being attacked she quickly hurls the 5 demon children off a cliff and into some bushes. the women in the kimono is then killed. the demon child with the pendantmisses the bush, and lands at the feet of a villager, who takes the demon child (a boy) back to the villagers villadge to start the demon childs new life as a slave.


                    ill right more but iv gota go eat dinner

[GaryCXJk]

Discuss here about this cool opensource forum. It is the one you are browisng now!

Retard.