The Big Emerald 3

[Red XIII]

Red comes out of the shower and takes the emerald, along with toilet paper and runs away

Red: It´s mine!!! finally!!!!

Meanwhile:
Archem: Oh No!!!!! he took the paper!!! i´m trapped now

[DarkFlood2]

DarkFlood jumps ontop of Red and hits him in the face until he drops the emerald

DarkFlood: I got an emerald AND got to hit someone in the face! Sweet!

DarkFlood returns to his poorly constructed base on jupiter

[Archem]

Darky: Hehehe...her.
Archem: Duh-Du-Daaaaa!
Archem swings in on a vine (from nowhere) and snatches the emmy.
Darky: Nooo! My triumphant phrase has gone to waste!
Archem: And now I have an emerald AND an Emmy!
Darky: Nooooooooooo-the o's trail off into eternity... Curse you Eh Steve! I'll chase you 'til tomorrow-noooooon!!! *Fizshaeow!*

[Kinslayer]

Narrator: "When everyone thought that he had given up, the invincible, the one and only Kinslayer comes back into game!!! He jumps out before Archem, and... OOOOHHHH!!! That's an ugly kick!!! Archem's leg seems bad and... Kinslayer has the Emerald!!!!!"

 *Ovation like in a soccer stadium*

Ks: "Finnaly, I got you again... Let's GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!!!"

[DarkFlood2]

DarkFlood, using some insanely large rocket boosters, flies Jupiter into the sun... While everyone is watching the awesome sight, DarkFlood grabs the emerald.

[kelpie]

kelpie floats up to darkflood
kelpie: that seems very shiney...may i have it?
darkflood: no...no you cant..
kelpie: oh...*walks away*
darkflood: ...
kelpie: maybe i should use my girlish insticts
darkflood: ...*sis there*
kelpie: *AHYIYIYIYYYIYYIYIYIYYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYI!!!!!!!!!!!!!*runs out with giant hammer*
darkflood: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
kelpie: *hits darkflood contiuously till hes smashed into ground*
good boy..*smiles, pats him on the head and runs off with the emerald*

[Archem]

Archem: Hmm... I think I'll take that emerald...
Archem flings his Emmy at that darn cat, causing it to fall. Out of an airplane. And catch fire. And land in a vat of... gelatin. Toxic gelatin.
Kelpie: Agh! Not toxic Jelly-o! I'm allergic to... Is this blue raspberry flavored? I looove blue raspberry!
Kelpie proceeds to devour the gelatin.
Archem: Yay! The emmy is mine! Now then... time to blow up Jupiter...
Then Jupiter explodes. For no apparent reason.

[Kinslayer]

ks: Huh?! Jupiter is gone... YOU have my emerald!!!

Narrator: Oh it seems Kinslayer is rrrreally mad a Archem and... HOLY CHRIST!!! That's what I call a punch on the face!!! he grabs the emerald and leaves, towards... Saturn?!

Ks: Yeah! I'll go to Saturn, how will I? well... FLYING!!!! *flies towrds Saturn*

[Red XIII]

*Kinslayer drops the emerald*

Red: That´s my chance!!

*Takes the emerald and hides in a cave*

[kelpie]

a bear: oooooo!!this looks like a proper mate!..
Red XIII: ah I finally have that emerald.
A bear: hello hunny!!
RedXIII: * in shock* uh......
A bear: I have something you can do for me..*flirtatous face*
RedXIII: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*drops the emerald while running*
Kelpie:*zips out of the bear costume* AH.....sweet solitude...*smiles cutely*....but was my flirting really that bad? or was it that I was a bear.....*sits thinking for a second*......ah well....Ill just have to figure that out myself *winks and walks away*

[Dragonium]

Dragonium: Wait for it...

Samba: Popcorn?

Radian: Cola?

Dragonium: Nah, let's just snatch the shiny trinket and be off.

Samba: How long do you think it'll be?

Radian: Not long now.

Dragonium: Well since this is a comedy sketch, and the cat thing was pretending to be a female bear, I'd guess right about... Now.

Kelpie: Aaaaaaaaaargh! *Chased away by horny bear*

Dragonium: Alright, let's go. *Walks off with Emerald*

[Archem]

Archem: Check it out.
Archem has a see-saw with a trampoline under the up end and a bucket of pee, Ps, and peas on the down end. Dragonium on the other hand breaks out into a run, seeing as how everyone takes notice of his emerald having. Suddenly-
Archem: Looks like I'm gonna have to jump!
Archem jumps on the up end of the see-saw, launching the bucket towards Dragonium.
Voice from Nowhere: HEAD SHOT!
That should explain what happens there thoroughly. The emerald flies through the air! The trampoline under the see-saw causes Archem to spring upward. As if God was on his side (but he's not), the emerald lands perfectly in Archem's hands.
Archem: Yay! All accordian to plan!
So Archem runs off and... runs off some more.




Damn, that was well planned!

[kelpie]

Kelpie: ugh.....*walks in realif that the horney bear is gone*
Okay, never again will I do such a thing....phew...
*Archem is getting drunk because he successfully got the emerald*
Kelpie: uh...arent you alittle underage to be drinking?
Archem: *stares* well of course not....im elevendetwelve years old.....ahe....
Kelpie: *looks frightend* well then....since your having fun...Ill take that emerald right off your hands...*grins big*
Archem: *stares at trinkit for a moment* agh.... sure whynot you....sexy leperchaun you...*begins to waddle away drunk*
Kelpie: well that went smooth. * walks away with emerald

[Archem]

Heeey... Wait up fer meee....
Kelpie: Uh, no thanks. I really should be getting home about now... My mom's waiting for me and-
Archem: WHADID YOU SAY ABOUT MY MOTHER?!?!
Kelpie: No! Wait! I didn't-
In a drunken rage, Archem kicks the **** out of Kelpie.
Archem: Heeey... pretty shiney glowey thingy... I'm just gonna borrow this fer a few times...
And so, Archem recovers the emerald and goes off to contribute to his liver decay.

[kelpie]

kelpie: *twitches*...... ugh....I dont wanna wake up mommy....*drools and reaches over for bottle*...nice warm milk wakes me up....*drinks bottle*.....O.O.....*cough*......Yuck!!! Champagine!!!!! it tastes like feet.....*cough*.....*twitches a bit more*......thats it.....* gets up slowly*.....its his fault...* eye twitches as evilness surrounds Kelpie*....MWAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Archem: now since my hang over is gone, I shall continue on my journey that I came up with for no apparent reason!!!!*turns around*...Aheehe..eh?*sees kelpie  running up for the emerald in rages of fury*
Kelpie: Mommys home...why dont you come and give her a hug..!!!*eye twitches A bit more*...heheheehe.....
Archem: GAH!!!!! My mother does not look like A 14 yearold!!! *takes out shotgun* and I will not hug someone I dont know yet!*cocks gun*...*shoots at Kelpie's head*....bullseye!...* her head comes right off and strangly one of those bugs come out from her head from Resident Evil 4*What?!?!?!

Kelpie:...*body falls over*.....OOOOWWWEE!!!* bug screeches and eats Archem*
Archem: no wait----*gets crapped out*
Kelpie: *bug takes body and puts the emerald in the head socket.*....whoa...*kelpies head grows back*.....what just happened....oh well...*walks away happily*


but yet, little did kelpie know, the emerald in her chest now.....weird...