Funny quotes

[tyia]

I made this post to see what kind of funny things you or someone else said.
Here's mine:

(four helicopters was flying over the school one time.)

Dasha: (looks up at sky and raise her hands, shouting to the helicopters)
I didn't do it and even if I did do it, it was an accident, All right?!
I didn't enjoy it!

(same time)
Joseph:Woo, they're going to blow up the school and
everyone's going to die!
Sydnni:We're going to die too, you twit!
Joseph: (pause for 10 second) Yay, we going to die!

Me:Life is like a box of poisoned chocolates, you enjoy it one minute and you die the next.

[Spike the Kat]

I set up a fake quiz just for the heck of it and my friend wrote this.


"The farthest base that Jesus has gotten to is 2.

The thing that turns Jesus on the most is Looks."

[FFL2and3rocks]

My friend writes this on all of his tests:

O
Indeed~
O

[Almeidaboo]

Those came from not-sexual situations, but were not well said either...

"-Look at my huge hole"

"-Put it on behind"

"-Dude, I thought you *** looked fancier!" (WTF...)(a guy said that...)

"-Last night I had 5 hours of oral..." (a girl said that...she meant she studied orally...)

This one´s funny, cause I was talking to my g/f in the phone and her brother was in the living room. I was telling her that I hate to touch dental cream (sp?). Then she shouts: "You´ll put it in the mouth but won´t touch it?"

[tyia]

Another one:
Dasha: Dude, why aren't you smiling?
Me:I don't know
-My thoughts: I'm smiling but it's an upside-down smile.-

[Kefka]

"I will destroy everything! I will create a monument to non-existence!"
"Ahem, there's SAND on my boots!"
~Kefka

"Internet forums bring out the worst of humanity: stupid irrational egomaniacs telling each other how much they hate everything."
~Me

A funny conversation with a friend about how cloud (FF7) and Terra (FF6) are alike.
Me: Terra is Cloud, except their stories are different for what they're searching for. Just bland, but develop a bit.

Ben: Shouldn't that be "Cloud is Terra" since, y'know, Terra couldn't possibly be a character that didn't exist yet.

Me: True... And we all know how much Cloud likes to be a little lady.

[ZeroKirbyX]

My friend wrote this while on Day-Quil and Ny-Quil
My thoughyt process... I wonder.................... about something.............. Day-Quil plus Ny-Quil equals fun!!!!!!

Man, that guy is so fun when he gets high...

[Drace]

"Will you shut the f*ck up you baby raping sodomizing sack of sh*t." - An inmate in The Suffering

"I don't feel so good... *pukes over someone* No, wait. I'm allright again." - Some TV-Show or movie.

[ZeroKirbyX]

"And satan came into my bedroom to take my soul, so I kicked him, in the balls-ah!"- Nother friend

[CoolZidane]

This was from a friend of mine:

Friend: If life gives you lemons, screw life! Lemons suck!

[Dragonium]

Friend: Whoa, Pringles! Once you pop you can't stop!

Friend 2: Yeah, 'cos they're full of Monosodium Glutamate.

-----------------

Friend: It's not gay if I do it to myself.

-----------------

Friend: Ooh, here's a good one.

Me: What?

Friend: Is the glass half empty or half full?

Me: The glass is broken, the poisonous liquid is spilling onto the floor.

Friend: ... Yeah...

[Drace]

Friend: You know what we should do?
Me: No.
Friend: We should like, ditch school next class.
Teacher: What was that?
Friend: I said 'we should ditch school next class'!
Teacher: I got my eye on you from now on.
Friend 2: Thanks buddy, he won't notice us leaving now.

[Meiscool-2]

"She's so hot, she makes my balls drop."
(2 second pause)
"Speaking of the devi....."
(1 second pause)
"Make that speaking of the devils."

[CoolZidane]

Me: It's all fun and games once you're dead on the floor.

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Me: Take that, corporate America!*

*This sentence is copyrighted by me and cannot be used without my permission.