Need opinions and suggestions for my new RPG

[Hero]

I'm making a game called Final RPG.

The main characters are:
Male Hero
Female Hero
Male Soldier
Female Soldier
Male Mage
Female Mage
Priest
Priestess

The setting is:
Coneria

The story:
Long ago, in a sacred land, there are four sacred orbs that keeps the land golden and and the plants alive, a great evil approaches.
The four orbs start dimmering, and the evil gets stronger. Then one normal day the orbs suddenly stops shining, and the great evil rises and traps the world in darkness. You are a party of 4 of the main characters and you accidently end up in the land of Coneria which is the sacred land being corrupted by the great evil. You must save Coneria. Do you guys like it?

[WarxePB]

Well, this should probably be in the Games forum.

Also, I can't tell if this is an FF1 ripoff, a parody game, or an actual serious project. If it's the latter... well, it uses quite a lot of cliche' elements, but as long as it has a decent plot throughout and not just "nameless heroes save world for no reason", it could be okay.

[Hero]

Some of the parts might be off of FF1, but I guarantee, it is totally different.

[Almeidaboo]

But it has too many slap-on-the-face clichès...some of them can be good if well used, but still...

Try not to use "sacred" too much...everything is always sacred.

For instance, i loved Disgaea cause it took place in Hell, and you were the son of the recently dead Devil (where did he go after he died?)

[Kinslayer]

Originally posted by Almeidaboo

For instance, i loved Disgaea cause it took place in Hell, and you were the son of the recently dead Devil (where did he go after he died?)

He went to... Hell's... HELL... No wait...

About the game, the overall story is a bit cliché, but it still can be good, if you put effort.

[Hero]

What do you mean a bit too cliche'?

[Kinslayer]

Well, I mean that it would be like "go and destroy the bad guy" and done. Unless you have some schemes thought.

[FFL2and3rocks]

If a story is cliché, that means that it has been done before, and isn't very original.

And if you plan on basing the story so much on FF1, then some fanboys are going to jump on your *** once your game is released...

[Drighton]

Sounded a bit like FFV to me.

Some suggestions:

• No plot devices - stay away from the magic crystals/orbs/etc that will magically explain why evil is around and that the hero(es) will have to find, save, repair, whatever. This also can be extended to:
~ A machine that will save the world
~ A magic weapon which is the only thing that can kill/damage the villian
~ Fetch X items and bring them all to one location to unleash evil-ridding magic

• Character development - what will pull the player into the story is the want to see your protagonist succeed in his/her quest. This means the character will need backstory as well as motivation to save the world. This is usually where writers throw in the Revenge murdered loved ones cliche. Try to avoid that unless you can make it interesting.

• Give the player a little freedom - don't jerk the player around in the story. By this I mean, don't tell them to goto town A only to have them goto town B. I have never liked games where I feel like the writer has my ear between his thumb and finger dragging me along through his story. For an accurate visualization aid, picture yourself dragging a bull around by the ring that is pierced through it's nose (like in the cartoons).

As far as being cliche, Charas member Bluhman created a thread in the tutorials section that listed many story arcs or elements that have been done to death. After reading it you may feel a bit discouraged, but it can be summed up in two simple words: Be Original. My advice is to use that thread to check if your idea has been done before.

[DragonBlaze]

Yeah Drighton covered everything very well. Anyway, you should make this topic in the games forum, or request a mod to move this thread

[barnsalot]

Originally posted by Almeidaboo
For instance, i loved Disgaea cause it took place in Hell, and you were the son of the recently dead Devil (where did he go after he died?)

King Krichevskoy didn't go anywhere new. He became Midboss, Vyers, The Dark Adonis; Whatever you want to call him. His mother became a prinny and I think that both of them were in the netherworld trying to "work off their sins" as is stated in the game as the purpose of prinnies.

Originally posted by Hero
Some of the parts might be off of FF1, but I guarantee, it is totally different.

I'm not bashing, just giving criticism: If it's going to be a totally different game then I would recommend doing things totally different from FF1. At the moment it just looks like a fangame, which is fine, but if it's going to be a fangame it needs not be labeled as an original, and if it's not a fangame then it needs not have such similar themes to FF1.

[Hero]

So I should change the name of the game? And create a weapon that is that is used to destroy the villain?

[Hero]

I'm going to start putting backstories in the sequel if you guys will like my first game.

[Hero]

Also I'll be sure to add you guys to my special thanks list.

[Hero]

Oh haven't logined a while because I only play for 2 days.