Swords Path

[Secret Box]

My first game was called Kingdom Savior. It is currently on page 15 of the forums. I started making the sequel. but instead my brain hatched an amazing idea for a story. It is called Swords Path:

      Well, to start off These group of three friends(all males) grew up together and had alittle hangout outside town. ever since they were little there was a little hole in the side of a rock wall that they were only able to peek into.

                        :the game starts:

      as you and your friends are talking in your hideout, a red troll type monster jumps down and runs past you into town, dropping a mallet and traps you in your hideout. you then can use the mallet to break your way into the little hole. the cave stretches through and you end up unexpectedly going through a portal to a place you have no idea where! wen you are there you see a bunch of troll similar to the one in the hangout. you are unarmed so you run. you find an amazing sword and once you take it all hell breaks loose. all the trolls are attacking you and you dont know why. you end up fighting a huge troll and get sent back to the hangout completely confused because the hole has completely vanished.it looks like the hangout has be wrecked and your friends are gone. The sword is all you have.

The story all starts to become clear as you continue to play and I don't know if I should give that away because then it would be no fun playing it?

just anyone tell me your thoughts so far and if you want to know more!

[Dragoon de Sol]

Interesting.

It has some cliche's, but enough to keep me interested.

[Meiscool-2]

Originally posted by Dragoon de Sol
It has some cliche's

SOME?

YOUNG GROUP OF FRIENDS.

MAGICAL SWORD.

WIERD, UNKNOWN ENEMIES.

PORTALS.

NO EXPLAINATION AS TO WHY MONSTERS EXSIST.

[Secret Box]

if you played it that would all be explained and beleived me the pages and pages i have written about the story are amazingly in depth. its just kinda like you learn as you play!

you are made to think it is aportal and they are not unknown enemies for long believe me. you are taken a few cliches and completely making it a bad game. You have no idea what it will be like.

[Secret Box]

ok...          because of the little that i have told you i think i should tell more. well right after the sword accident. you find out from a long cutscene source that you were sent to the world of the gods and the sword that you took was their most treasured item in their world. and by taking it they will only now cause harm to the world. so your job is to take that sword and return it as fast as you can so they may have less anger. but there is a curse on the secret portal and it can only be used once and for only one person with good intentions. you are confused why it would let you in if you didn't even know what it was! you have to find the Great Tysmic wizard at once to undo the curse. as you play you find out about a legend that says that the sword will naturally find its way back home(hence the name "Swords Path"). as you play you are attacked by many monsters(bosses) that the gods are sending down to taunt you and kill you for what you have done ( first two bosses are holding your two friends hostage and you save them and then they join party. You have a sword which holds the power of the gods and manage to continue on your journey.
   
          you will also come across tracers on your journey which are little platforms in which the gods have placed there for the sword to find its way home. you can take the energy from the tracer and combine with energy orbs you can buy at any shop and put the resulting item in your sword to upgrade it!

in the end, after you open th portal up and face the gods once and for all (the big troll was one of the gods, the other gods look different), you realize everything, why it let you in, why the monster ran through your hideout, why the monsters were trying to kill you even though you were returning the sword, because you weren't suposed to return the sword you were suposed to get the portal open and destroy the gods forever so the hope of the earth wasn't rested upon the gods (because the only thing the gods did was harm the earth when they were mad.) you have to put them away forever with their own sword.

Everything becomes clear and you are the hero! and the fate of the earth doesn't rest upon the gods anymore!

[aboutasoandthis]

Your sig kicks arse, but that's about the only thing that does.

I'd really like to see some screens. What will the battle system be like? Will there be minigames?

That doesn't sound like a story to me. It sounds more like a prelude. I can't find the conflict in the story. Is it that they're trying to get back home? If so, why don't they just go back the way they came?

I could care less if your storyline is cliche. I wanna know if it's good. You NEED to give more details on the story. It isn't spoiling the story if you hide the best part. If you can't give us anything else, then it means that your storyline is too short and not well thought out. What are the three characters like? What are both of these worlds like? Are the trolls evil? if so, why? Why is there a magic sword in a world full of trolls?

I can't see anything rewarding about this storyline. You need to give me more to impress me.

[coreystranick]

About: He said that The sword is the sword of the God's. He can not take it back they way he came because of the curse that has been put on him. And, they aren't going home. They are trying to take the sword back to the land of the gods. But with the curse they can not go back through the portal. As SB said, there is a legend about how the sword can find its way back home. And there are tracers throughout the whole game that are set there for the sword to find. That is what this whole game is about. But, you find out that is not what you were supposed to do. I think there are trolls there becasue one god is a Big troll so those could be his underlings.But I do agree with you on him having to give some more detail on the game.

SB: I agree with the About, your sig rocks. Your game sounds interesting, but what kind of battle system will it have? I would like to know some features you would have. I know one and that would be upgrading the sword. but what else will you have. And when possible screens would be cool.

[Secret Box]

well, i just started the game and am open to all suggestions and that is why i don't have screenshots either

[aboutasoandthis]

He posted the extra storyline while I was writing my post. I never noticed. I swear I'm that slow. That's why I contradict myself now.

Now that you put in the extra stuff, Good Job!

[Ruler of the Dark]

I just find a few things wrong internally with your story.  If the GODS had a sacred sword, why would it be so easy to take, as the hero wasn't even aware of what he was doing.  Come on, these are GODS.  And second, why would they make is so hard to return the sword by making the portal a one time thing?

You need more depth on the portal.  Why is it there?  Don't EVER go with the thing in CT.  Making a teleportation machine that goes haywire.  I've seen that in practically every game that involves a portal.

[Secret Box]

oh dont worry its not like that kinda portal you cant even notice that it is one.

and the curse was put upon the portal to be a one time thing. so you have to confront the one who put the curse upon the portal in the first place. and the reason the wizard put the curse on the portal is because he knew that you were going to go and get the portal. so he made it so that you couldn't return it. by doing that you would have to go on a journey and find him to take the curse off. and by that time he will have grown to know that it was a giant obsticle course to just make him realize what he was made to do, destroy the gods in the first place.

the sword wasn't easy to get at all. it was in stone surronded by statues of angels. it is a mystery why it lets you take the sword so easily. when you take it the statues crumble andall hell breaks loose and the troll attack you.because they know what will happen if you take the sword also they know their fate and they try to prevent it at all costs.

but thanks for asking i need these questions to work the bugs out of my story so keep asking!

[DragonBlaze]

The plot is too shallow. You have your twist, your things that need solving, but thats not enough. Look at just about any commercial rpg game, you start off doing one thing that doesn't really seem related to the major plot, then through that, the story changes into the major plot, from there, you don't know what will happen, things change and twist, and by time you play through the major part of the plot, you're doing something completely differant then you were doing at the start.  And in the end, you realize how every part of the game was connected.

You start off pretty much right away with the major part of your plot, you get the sword and try to bring it back. You don't build up to the major part of the plot at all. The only real differance between the begining of the plot and the end of the plot is that in the beginning you try to return the sword to the gods, and in the end, you try to kill them.

I probably didn't do a good enough job explaining what I mean, but you need more to your plot.

[Secret Box]

no i understand what you mean but do you have any suggestionsto fix the problem?

[Meiscool-2]

Originally posted by Secret Box
no i understand what you mean but do you have any suggestionsto fix the problem?

My suggestion: Don't make it a Kingdom Hearts Rip-off, because that's what you've got going for you.

[Secret Box]

that was the last thing i was going for believe me!