Make a wish and have it horribly corrupted!

[Silver Incubus]

Granted. You hear everyone's mind all the time and it sounds like jibberish. You kill yourself to stop the voices.

I wish I had a PS3

[MissingName]

Granted.  You start to play and then realize you are wasting your valuable life.

I wish to go to Chernobyl.

[Cerebus]

Granted. Nobody cares. You lost 7/8 of your posts for no valuable reason. Plus, the only remaining ones are spam. So everyone refers to you as a spammer. You get very sad at this and shoot yourself... on the feet, because you can't aim. Seriously dude, your aim is worst than Stormtroopers.

I wish I could read people's mind, but only when I want, and on specific target(s) so I don't end up hearing everyone.

[HobomasterXXX]

Creepy murderer smiles ain't so nice.

I wish I had a job. That paid well, And was thoroughly enjoyable.

[Darrellito]

kills you to death

Can you kill someone to life?

Granted. You start enjoying sleeping with extremely large men. And getting paid for it.

I wish I knew Colonel Sanders secret recipe.

[MissingName]

Granted.  It's people.

I wish for a can of cream soda.

[Musha]

Granted.  It's made with <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6F4GtyRfto">Brylcreem</a>.

I wish for Brylcreem.

[Darrellito]

Granted. But it's old and crusty, and makes your hair fall out.

I wish I was the boogey man.

[Darkfox]

Granted, you are made of snot. CONGRATULATIONS!

I wish I was the actual real-life materialization of my persona and be a superhero and stuff.

[Bluhman]

Granted, but the powers aren't actually that good, especially when you consider none of them actually make you bullet proof.

I wish Lucas Irineu would reach 9000 posts already.

[Darrellito]

Granted, but he takes them from your post count.

Not really all that bad, just a minor annoyance I guess.

I wish I could be Superman for a day, only not in his reality, but in this one.

[Musha]

Granted, but as soon as that one day is over, the government captures you and dissects you to try to figure out how you got powers.

I wish <a href="http://www.moddb.com/mods/goldeneye-source">GoldenEye: Source</a> had the Watch Laser in it.

[Darrellito]

Granted. But it gives the game an entire unbalanced feel, causing you to hate playing it.

I wish I really could eat lightning and crap thunder.

[Silver Incubus]

Granted. But it gives the game an entire unbalanced feel, causing you to hate playing it.

I wish I really could eat lightning and crap thunder.

Granted. It happens once and then you explode. Nobody sees it.


i wish I could shoot lazer beams out of my eyes.

[Darrellito]

Granted, but you look in a  mirror to see what it looks like, and fry your brains.

I wish I had a bag of cheetos.