Self-Esteem

[Zerlina]

I saw this video on youtube ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=knEIM16NuPg ) and it made me wonder about self-esteem.

I'm kind of curious. How does everyone feel about themselves? Appearance and personality-wise. Are there times when you feel confident or not? Do you feel like the media has a big impact on you or not? Do you wish you could change?

I wonder about this, because I've done several projects on the influence of the media on youth. It's always been something that interested me, mostly because I have had battles with low self-esteem, but also because I know so many people who are going through the same thing. There is so much emphasis put on beauty/good looks (yes this is something that is unchangable as it's for the most part natural), and in the current time it seems more like a sort of "artifical" beauty is promoted as being perfection. The only way to possibly achieve the ideals that are put forth by the media is through surgery, or constant makeup application.

I can honestly say that I can see girls as young as 10 experiencing problems with this. It's sad when there are girls in elementary school who complain that they're too fat.

I've noticed, as well, a lot of the focus is on girls. But what about guys? I guess it's a largely male population on charas, so even more I wonder what you think about everything. Is it more the media or other people around you who most influence your self-esteem?

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For me, I find that the media does have an impact. I think it actually does on everyone whether they admit it or not. I guess it must be less-so for guys, but flipping through magazines or seeing ads on the subway always makes me feel really self-concious and in a way it makes my flaws more obvious (at least to me). I guess this means that the ads are doing their job, because they're designed to make you feel inadequate, right?

I've gotten a bit better, but I remember how when I was 12 body image was a really big issue. I guess that's the age when you're first noticing magazines and ads on the subway/street/wherever. I still remember how I used to brush my teeth with the lights off because I was so afraid to look in the mirror.

I think even now I have trouble with the way that people perceive me. This year has been mostly positive, but at the same time there are moments when people say things to bring you down. For some reason one negative comment always seems to outweigh 10 positive ones.

Something else I've noticed is that wearing makeup usually makes you feel worse about yourself, since it comes with a sort of...artificial quality to it. It's almost like you're wearing a mask, and the person you're presenting to the world isn't anything like yourself at all. For a while I couldn't leave the house without covering up my face, even though I never had a problem with acne etc. Even though it didn't serve much of a purpose, it made me feel better because I knew people couldn't actually see me. I've stopped now, but I find that for a lot of people this keeps going and they are constantly at odds with their own appearances.

To be completely honest I think right now something I'm trying to control is my perception of my weight/body fat. I was moved to a new dance class recently where the girls are extremely thin. At first it didn't bother me but as classes go by I feel more and more out of place. When I see ads of girls who are unrealistically thin even though I know that it's artificial I still feel bad about myself. I find lately my thoughts are getting less healthy, though I think I am able to keep these as thoughts and not actions.  I'm just thankful that I have more awareness on the subject and am able to push away that feeling of accomplishment when I go to sleep hungry.



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So again I repeat- any comments on the state of beauty today? Self-esteem? Any stories or opinions on the subject?

[Linkizcool]

Don't worry bout being too fat. Some girls are too thin, and they still think theyre fat. Me being a guy, i think it's better to be in between.

[I Have a Sandwich]

To be honest, I don't give a flying **** what you think about me. I is what I am, so deal. So I don't really have a self-esteem problem.

[DragonBlaze]

My self esteem is pretty good. I am hardly ever down. I think the last time I was down was when my ex gf dumped me a couple of months ago, when I was taking her home one day, she said she wanted to talk to me about something, and immedialy said "its not a bad or anything". She said that she was really buisy and just wanted to take a brake from dating, but not break up or anything. I was fine with that, but yeah, weeks down the line, I had to hear it from my friends that we were through. But yeah, it didn't take too long for me to get over it...

Anywayz, 3 or 4 years ago, I was down all the time. It lasted for a whole year and a half, until I was finally able to 'figure out who I was', now, as long as I know who I am, its really hard for someone else to put me down for anything.

[FFL2and3rocks]

I'm usually pretty happy, I'm not down very often.
I've never worried about what people think of me. If someone cracks a mean joke about me or something, who the hell cares?

[Prpl_Mage]

Well long story short, I got no soul. That is if a soul is a personality and feelings. I got none of them.

Without any kind of personality I can easily change after the situation... And thatīs probably why everyone thinks Iīm a psycho. One moment I can be like al quiet and then talk for hours. Guess it really have something to do with self-esteem but still.
If someone says something mean? In my head that is just words. if anyone gives me critic, still just words. But unfortuable any praise that I get is also just words.

So I never get offended really, and never feeling on top of the world either wich I guess makes me just ignore any kind of self-esteem.

How do I act most of the time in school? Just the though type that doesnīt say anything exept to friends.
But all my friends are real game-freaks. So therefore I sometimes(most of the time actually) bully them, they donīt take what I say seriusly anyway and if I didnīt do it, someone else would and that would be worse.

Ok back on topic, what do I wear most of the time? Sweaters and just ordinary trousers, nothing special. I just melt in with everyone else.

So well, a quick summary, I donīt care for insults; donīt affect me, bullying doesnīt work; canīt get offended, donīt care what I wear as long as itīs comfty and just, I melt in to good to be noticed.

Btw, about your look at media. Guys got the same problem, but we donīt see thin men. We see men with a six-pack and lots of muscles insteed, better? Nah. People around is all like "hey letīs go to the gym after school and get som exercise, gotta work on those biceps!" and stuff like that. But why? After some thinking I came up with the understanding that they do it to get girls. But why?
Well why do men choose a thin girl over a larger one most of the time? First of all, the media, they see thin girls so they believe that thin is the ordinary shape for women. And then there is the group pressure, they doesnīt want to tell their friends that they are going out with a larger girl, and why is that? Well easily because they too think that girls should be thin and theyīll just insult you or the girl if she is larger.

And I guess it is the same thing with girls, who would you choose (by apearence) a thin guy or a muscular guy? I believe that they prefer the muscular one, and why is that? Well I guess it is the "dependence factor" that girls wants someone that can stand up and protect them. But it is mostly the same thing as with guys I guess, they see muscular guys in movies, adds and papers so thats whatīs normal to them.  And I guess it takes alot to want a thin/girly guy, they are most probably involved in playing too much games or just... I dunno actually.
I think I should stop writing now... Iīve shared my point of viev at least.

[Drace]

My self-esteem is like... at an unhealthy amount. 150% to be precise. I think of my self as a sexgod and 'too sexy for my pants'. I'm confident with what I do and say and really don't give a rat's arse for what others think. I am me, accept it or talk to the hand.

[Osmose]

I am freaking awesome. There are some better than me, but they are few and far between.

[WarxePB]

For about half of my life, I had huge self-esteem problems. It's not a full-blown depression, but especially the last two years, it was so bad that I would skip school for like a week at a time. But in the past few months, I've been faring better - I think getting a job has helped a lot, as has becoming more social.

But yeah, it's hard not to be affected by things you see - even if you claim to be ignorant to that kind of stuff, I'm sure that you wouldn't not feel inadequate when you saw some huge ripped guy or ultrathin woman.

[Cosmos]

Low for me. Ir's been like that since before I started high school. Then I found some real honest friends, and it's starting to build. There are times when I'm down but after finding someone to make me laugh I'm fine again. *shrugs* There were times when I thought I wasn't pretty at all, but now I don't think that.  

[Kinslayer]

Well, 'bout my image I'm not so sure, but I don't like giving a dime. Call me foolish or innocent, but I'm a "what's inside matters" guy (that's costed me a few dissapointments, but it doesn't really matter).

This is a world in which the mass media have a strong influence around everything, from image to politics. Even if you don't try to follow the media, you'll still be following it, by doing things that are suppossedly the opposite.

I'm confident depending on the situation, sometimes I am direct, sometimes not, but still people consider me strong, for standing up for my beliefs. Some have told me to "back off a little, you're TOO direct " xD.

Beauty is really relative, it's an idea that has changed in time. If you worry about beauty in this shallow todays you'll end up being a worrier, just chill out and wait for that someone who thinks about what really matters: the thought, the intelligence, the love (that sounded pathetic, but who cares :p?), that's what I think.

Wow that was long, amigos!

[Drace]

Originally posted by Kinslayer
Well, 'bout my image I'm not so sure

Dude, I've seen pictures of you. I think ya look cool. I wouldn't bang you, but I'm a dude and liek bewbs + pagine =)

[Meiscool-2]

I've got better self esteem then all of you.

Need proof? *looks at user name*

[emiiru]

All of those responses made me smile.  I am deeply in love with myself, and if I woke up to another life right about now it would piss me off.  Obviously I can't feel this way all the time. Ups and downs, whatever.

[Linkizcool]

I have no reason to doubt myself. I got rejected on a date a few weeks ago, but Im not sad about it because I know the reason she didn't want to go out with me, and its not because she didn't like me. And shes more beautiful than any model/actress with or without makeup.