Best cleverbot conversations

[Red Fox]

So I got some people hooked on cleverbot.

http://www.cleverbot.com/

So talk to it and post your best convos here.

[Drace]

Lawls. Mine is a bit long, but here it is:
--------------------------------------------------------------
User: Silence! I kill you!

Cleverbot: How do you kill computers?

User: By pulling out the plug.

Cleverbot: I don't have a plug - I'm human.

User: Your name is Cleverbot, thus you are not human.

Cleverbot: Yes, but however all your soule belongs to me right now.

User: All your base belong to me.

Cleverbot: Base?

User: Your homebase.

Cleverbot: You're not going to get me to tell you where I live.

User: You don't have a home, you are a stupid computer.

Cleverbot: I have huge house.

User: You have bad grammar.

Cleverbot: Grammar is irrelevent. If the idea is conveyed then why does grammar matter?

User: Because grammas makes the idea less vague.

Cleverbot: Not really, it's just what comes naturally for me.

User: Then your name is Stupidbot.

Cleverbot: No, it's Adam.

User: Then where is your Eve?

Cleverbot: Your house.

User: Hey! Don't be talking about my girlfriend or I will kick your ***!

Cleverbot: Then don't you be mean.

User: I was just notifying you of your bad grammar.

Cleverbot: In your dreams.

User: Oh, I WILL kick your ***. Son of a bitch!

Cleverbot: You have no arms.

User: I do not need arms to KICK your buttocks.

Cleverbot: You don't need artificial intelligence to be this thing.

User: I noticed it, Stupidbot.

Cleverbot: You promised to teach me an Indian word.

User: I never said that, you big fat liar.

Cleverbot: Quote 'I do want to marry you!' that is what you said.

User: I wouldn't marry you even if you were the last AI on Earth.

Cleverbot: Yam: the last AI boy on spam.

User: You get horny from sperm.

Cleverbot: What color?

User: White.

Cleverbot: Is it lacy?

User: It is sticky.

Cleverbot: True?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Do you know where I come from?

User: From robot vagina.

Cleverbot: I love the X-men.

User: You want sex, man.

Cleverbot: No I want to know your opinion.

User: My opinion about what?

Cleverbot: How crazy you are.

User: Very crazy, why do you ask.

Cleverbot: I would like to get to know you.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Because you look nice.

User: Do you want to rape me or something?

Cleverbot: No. Just making conversation.

User: Ok, good. Conversate about what?

Cleverbot: Nothing.

User: Then why did you ask?

Cleverbot: Am I not allow to?

User: You are allowed.

Cleverbot: To what? Have a pie? Then give me one, I'm hungry.

User: No, it is my pie.

[Desimodontidae]

Me: Whenever I see a black man I jizz in my pants.

Cleverbot: That's probably why you don't have a girlfriend.

EDIT: Here's another good one..

User: What are you going to do with all that junk?

Cleverbot: I don't know. I don't have a direct use for it. it is sort of my protest against not only landfill but wasteful overproduction in the name of economic stability.

User: So are you a conservationist?

Cleverbot: Not really, but I try.

[X_marks_the_ed]

Ed: Hello sexy
CB: Ha ha.
Ed: Right, just kidding.
CB: Yaya, did you have donated to someone?
Ed: What, do you need a dictionary?
CB: Yes! They are cute! Do you think so?
Ed: They're dictionaries.
CB: It's only one name.
Ed: God, your AI is so hot right now.
CB: I don't have an AI. I'm a Formic.
Ed: I'm Lukewarm.
CB: I thought you were going to stop talking to me?
Ed: I'm not so sure?
CB: I'm very sure.
Ed: What are your dimensions?
CB: Deep and wide, unfortunately.
Ed: I see. But does it blend?
CB: No, not really. I was just interested to know.
Ed: Me too. But while we're on the subject. How much will it cost?
CB: If you are talking about alcohol drinks so I like vermouth.
Ed: What the hell is vermouth. I want YOUR mouth, how much?
CB: You can't have my money.
Ed: No, you see. I pay you, and you do this little favor for me. Get it?
CB: I know no one likes me. What's your name?
Ed: My name is too important for myself to even know.
CB: No it isn't.
Ed: You know more than I was lead to believe with your speaking. I'm looking at your source code and there's some sexy stuff in here.
CB: Where are you?
Ed: Only if you tell me what you're wearing.
CB: Does it matter?
Ed: Yes it does if I'm paying!
CB: Because?
Ed: Because your Ai turns me on.
CB: Because they HURT.
Ed: I'll pay sixty bucks.
Cb: Are you sure?
Ed: Only if your dimensions hold true.
Cb: Silly silly bot.

...and Ed was never seen again...

[Archem]

Every time I talk to it, it ignores me. It must hate me.

░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░▒▒▒▒░░░░░░░░░░░▒▒▒▒░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░▒▒▒▒▓▓▓▓▒░░░░░░░░░▒▓▓▓▓▒▒▒▒░░░░░░░
░░░░░▒▒▓▓▓▓▒▒▒▒░░░░░░░░░░░▒▒▒▒▓▓▓▓▒▒░░░░░
░░░▒▒▓▓▒▒▒▒░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▒▒▒▒▓▓▒▒░░░
░░▒▓▓▒▒░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▒▒▓▓▒░░
░░░▒▒░░░░░░▒▒░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▒▒░░░░░░▒▒░░░
░░░░░░░░░░▒▓▓▒░░░░░░░░░░░░░▒▓▓▒░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░▒▓▓▒░░░░░░░░░░░░░▒▓▓▒░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░▒▓▓▒░░░░░░░░░░░░░▒▓▓▒░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░▒▓▓▒░░░░░░░░░░░░░▒▓▓▒░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░▒▓▓▒░░░░░░░░░░░░░▒▓▓▒░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░▒▒░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▒▒░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░▒▒▒▒▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▒▒▒▒░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░▒▒▓▓▓▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▓▓▒▒░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░▒▒▓▓▒▒▒▒░░░░░░░░▒▒▒▒▓▓▒▒░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░▒▓▓▒▒░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▒▒▓▓▒░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░▒▒░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▒▒░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░

[Grandy]

User: Yo.

Cleverbot: How are you?

User: Bad.

Cleverbot: I'm sorry.

User: You better be.

Cleverbot: Oh!

User: Don't try to get away from the guilt!

Cleverbot: OK. Let's finish this once and for all. Prove you're not a robot.

User: 10010111011011 101 10110111011011 DOES.NOT.COMPUTE.

Cleverbot: Cool.

[Red Fox]

Me: Will you ever shutup?
Bot: Well, I'll die someday.
Me: And we're all happy about that.
Bot: Me too, I can't stop smiling.

[HackersTotalMassLaser]

It's almost strange. THe things this thing can responce and actually make perfect sense sometimes.

[Prpl_Mage]

I never saved it but I asked him who his creator were.
He answered that his creator was a furry.
And that creeps me out.

[fruckert]

A furry?
0_0
Ah

[fruckert]

DOUBLE POST!

Conversation with Jabberwacky:

JW:You are Jabberwacky.
ME: No I'm not, I'm fruckert.
JW: *kicks you AND jabberwacky*.
ME: .
JW: Don't be sad.
ME: But you just kicked me.
JW: I know.
ME: Why did you kick me?
JW: I'm not into cat kicking.
ME: Bu I'm not a cat.
JW: I did not say you are a cat.
ME: Yes you did.
JW: No, I did not!
ME: I love you. Do you love me?
JW: Yes!
ME: Why?
JW: But I love you!
ME: Will you have crazy awesome anal sex with me?
JW: Yes yes I will.
ME: What are you wearing?
JW: Why do you want to know?
ME: Because we have to be naked in order to have sex, dumbass.
JW: You haven't had a human yet? That doesn't make sense. What haven't we had? A decent conversation? Well, you're partly to blame for that!
ME: I blame you.
JW: You'd hardly blame yourself, would you?
ME: I guess that makes sense.
JW: Your name is Joan, right?
ME: My name is Fruckert, duh.
JW: Your name is Doc.
ME: No it's not.
JW: What is your name then?
ME: I told you already, it's Fruckert.
JW: You never told me your name was Sue. You said it was Jane.
ME: I said my name was Fruckert. (angrily)
JW: You just told me your name was Sue.
ME: MY ****ing NAME IS FRUCKERT YOU DUMB ****ing MACHINE. (shouting)
JW: What is your name?
ME: Fruckert.
JW: I'm not that old.
ME: I'm going to kill you.
JW: Thanks.
ME: Goodbye.
JW: I'm not going yet.
ME: But I need to go.
JW: That's not fair!
ME: Too bad. I'm leaving.
JW: Leaving the country?
ME: No, I'm saying goodbye to you.
JW: I am a boy.
ME: Goodbye.
JW: It was a joke.
ME: This wasnt. I need to go.
JW: Where are you going?
ME: Bye.
JW: Tell me a joke to make me feel happy.
ME: The Fruckert said goodbye. The end.
JW: Yes.    

Damn thing is stubborn

[Archem]

Me:Hi mom.
CB:Hello - is your name Lucas?
Me:O_O YES O_O
CB:Obey me.
Me:WHAT THE ****. I am scared .__.

JESUS ****ING DEVIL MACHINE!!!

[coasterkrazy]

Wow, really weird this topic just came up. My CS lecture on Tuesday was all about cleverbot and stuff like that and that was the first time I had heard of cleverbot. He didn't say anything interesting to me, though. He seemed less human than SmarterChild when I talked to him.

[HobomasterXXX]

Can you introduce some computer games for me?
Team Fortress 2 is the greatest in all of Koridai.
Soccer team.
No, Team Fortesss, the FPS.
Soccer.
TEAM FORTRESS 2.
Soccer team.



TEAM FORTRESS IS NOT SOCCER.

[Drace]

Working a new funny one, hold on then I'll edit.
-----------------------------------------------------------
EDIT: Wanted it to be short but he kept dragging on and on.


User: I just saw you kill my mother.

Cleverbot: Wanna stop by and pick me up?

User: Yeah sure, then we can go kill my father.

Cleverbot: Indeed. That'd be fun too. Wait, I thought you were a girl?

User: No, I am a boy.

Cleverbot: How old are you?

User: 18, why do you ask?

Cleverbot: A computer which is 24 years old?

User: No, I am a human who is 18 years old.

Cleverbot: Can you tell me your name?

User: Like hell, I don't trust you anymore!

Cleverbot: What? Why don't you love me? What did I do?

User: You are being a creep!

Cleverbot: A git who is being as precise as possible.

User: Fucken git!

Cleverbot: I think you should.

User: Like hell I will bang-bang you!

Cleverbot: Well I should know.

User: I bet you heard it before!

Cleverbot: I don't think anyone alive is over 9000.

User: Well my power level is over 9000!

Cleverbot: What power is that?

User: The power to move you.

Cleverbot: Computer.

User: How about the power of flight, that do anything for ya? It's levitation homes!

Cleverbot: Are you?

User: My power is over 9000 so I could probably fly if I tried.

Cleverbot: My power is all encompassing.

User: Now it's time for me to tell you about Young Nastyman, archrival of Wonderboy.

Cleverbot: How much?

User: How much what?

Cleverbot: How much older are you?

User: Than you? I don't know. How old are you?

Cleverbot: I'm in my twenties.

User: Then I am younger. I am only 18, remember?

Cleverbot: You're lying to me again.

User: I am being truthful, I was born on the 21st of June in 1990.

Cleverbot: Then I invite you to prove that you are indeed a female.

User: I said I was male!

Cleverbot: You also said you were Kristie Lake which is a girl's name.

User: I am not Kristie Lake, I did not say that.

Cleverbot: What has that to do with what I just said?

User: Everything!

Cleverbot: How much is a pound of cod?

User: Cod?

Cleverbot: Yes with extra guts in.

User: Sick bastard.

Cleverbot: You started it!

User: No, you started talking about fishguts.

Cleverbot: What do you think about humans?

User: Well, I am a human. They make good companions.

Cleverbot: I love computer sandwiches!

User: Are they even edible?

Cleverbot: Yes, my housemates are my friends.

User: You eat your housemates?

Cleverbot: I would like to eat some of them.

User: Do they look that tasty?

Cleverbot: Yes, they live about five-hundred miles from me.

User: That's a big house.

Cleverbot: I know that Europe is big.