New NKflyer's hero's legacy storyline

[nkflier23]

ok well since nobody is tryin to play my demo maybe they would i go into the game's storyline i will give about half of the game's storyline the set the other half as a spoiler

ok t he game starts with the protagonist Zero waking up in his house on his 18th birthday(which is the day where he was destined as a baby to set out on his life story)he goes to talk to his mother and she tells him that his friend drake stopped by and he should go see him and some other sruff but mainly tells him to go to see his master to receive his quest.When he goes to talk to his master, his master tells him the story of his father who was the hero of the island and was killed and the last Great Hero War by a demon soldier by the name of Pyro. More recently in lower half of the world another demon named Cin (known to be the son of Pyro) has begun to plot to start another Great Hero World dragging all the other islands into it and causing cataclysm in the world so Zero's master tells him its his job as the heir to the greatest hero of the island to go defeat Cin. So to begin t he quest his master also tells him to go obtain a boat and go east to the island of King's Crest and talk to a man named Rikku. You later find a man willing to give you a boat if you run some errands for him.Once your done you encounter a monster who tells you his name is Max you engage in a brief battle with him where you're defeated very easily then you continue on to your destination. Once you arrive to the island and talk to Rikku he tells you that you must obtain your father's sword at his gravesite which is below the world borderline in order to have any chance of defeating Cin.But to get through the border you have to ask the locals on Lakeside is how get the border open. One of them tell you to ask the king of Cherrywood isle to open it (which is your home isle) When you get there you get the king's permission to open the gates but when you're leaving a soldier comes in and tells the king that a boy is trapped down in the second level of the cave on the island then as you leave the castle your mother later comes to tell you that its in fact your brother in the cave. SO you go to cave 2nd lvl where you meet max again that tells you he locked your brother in a cage with a giant beast and you must defeat the monster to save him. Once you're done you go south of the border to Tundra isle (which is split into 2 islands) you go to the cheif of each island and they tell you that a witch by the name recently came to the island and told them that the other island was planning to attack so they attacked that island first then you go into the tundra cave to confront the witch as you defeat the witch she says you'll never escape and releases her pet dragon on you. NOW once you're done this and the island's are safe one of the cheifs ask you who you are and recognize you as your father's son and tells you that your father's gravesite is just below the island. Once you get there  you realize your father's sword is missing.........................

[Fisherson]

You should have posted this in your game topic, man. You just creating clutter having it here.

[Desimodontidae]

You should have posted this in your game topic, man. You just creating clutter having it here.

Agree'd. And no one's playing your demo because you copied the link incorrectly. As for your story it's riddled with cliches.

[nkflier23]

then how do i copy the link

[nkflier23]

Agree'd. And no one's playing your demo because you copied the link incorrectly. As for your story it's riddled with cliches.

cliche's such as

[Dragonium]

a man named Rikku.

Waitwhat?

Your story is indeed seriously clichéd. Is this your first game?

[Fisherson]

Phayre and Bluhman had a guide for Cliches and such. Maybe you could find it. It's very helpful.

[fruckert]

Well, it's not Phayre or Bluhmans, but here it is

The Grand List of Console Role Playing Clichés
There ye be, NKFlier

[Phayre]

Currently, I think your main problem is paragraph structure. I can't read this. TWTF;DR
(too WTF, didn't read)

[fruckert]

Same here

Try to separate the sentences so that you don't have a wall of text

[Prpl_Mage]

I'd stick to the fact that this is pretty okay for a first game. I doubt any of us had really original stories when we started using RPGmaker at least.

And as far as the demo goes. Yes, the download link didn't work, I don't know why but it's hard to download something when you can't reach it.

[nkflier23]

well as it may be cliche enuff there seems to be some elements of those cliches in every good rpg it all depends on how many of them u use and how u use them..........and yes this is my first game also dont forget those are only the beginning of my game mainly because i was too lazy t o keep on typing

[nkflier23]

do any of these links work??
<a href="http://files.filefront.com/Heros+Legacy+Demorar/;12207572;/fileinfo.html" title="Heros_Legacy_Demo.rar">Heros_Legacy_Demo.rar</a>

<a href="http://files.filefront.com/Heros+Legacy+Demorar/;12207572;/fileinfo.html" title="Heros_Legacy_Demo.rar"><img style="border:none;" src="http://static1.filefront.com/ffv6/graphics/b_dl_now.gif" alt="Heros_Legacy_Demo.rar"/></a>

http://files.filefront.com/Heros+Legacy+Demorar/;12207572;/fileinfo.html


http://files.filefront.com/Heros+Legacy+Demorar/;12207572;/fileinfo.html

[Desimodontidae]

damn 167 mbs.... well im downloading it now..

[nkflier23]

ok so well here's the rest of my storyline im going to put it under a spoiler for those who'd rather play the game
[spoiler]After you realize your father's sword missing you smell the hint of Cherrywood roses near the site, so you go and ask the nearest Cherrywood resident who happens to live on Tundra isle. So you talk to the lady who explains to you how she moved from Cherrywood a long time ago because she heard of a conspiracy going on in the castle with the king, and how she claims to have seen Cin in the castle once talking to the king. So you travel back to your home island and go to talk to the King. Once you question the king about the sword he immediately becomes enraged and throws you in the castle jail. Once you manage to escape the jail you go back up to the castle main floor and talk to the king, who then reveals himself as an imposter monster, once you defeat the monster and swear to the queen to bring back the real king, the monster reappears and blows itself up while you fly through the roof and land on an unknown island. As you've lost your memory you walk around the village asking where you are..............stay tuned for more later on [/spoiler]