Big Sigh

[drenrin2120]

So I made this topic and then trashed it 'cuz I was really embarrassed. But I would like to revive it just to say everything is cool now (as cool as it could be). To those who read my emotional dump, we had another talk. It made me remember why I liked her so much in the first place. I'm not gonna get into details, but even if we're not together now, I've definitely gained one of the best friends I could ask for. You know, one of those people who come into your life and won't let go. The kind of people that make you want to be a better person. Even if that sounds like a cheesy script for a 'lifetime' movie. Don't really care or feel like defending myself.

if that was STILL tl;dr for you...

Bitch dump'd me. *lots of wah*
bitch ain't really a bitch.
*lots of d'awwww*
*warm fuzzy moment*

Woo. That felt better.

[Valiere]

I can't promise we all won't be douchelords, but at least I won't.

You already know she was just trying to let you down easy. You don't say "I need to focus on school and work" and then ask to be in an open relationship (unless that's code for something, but I thought it meant dating around while still with someone).

Okay, some advice for you. You need to distance yourself from this girl for a while. Stop hanging out with her. De-friend her on Facebook, because those status updates are going to drive you mad if you don't. You can send her a message saying you're doing so for your own emotional wellbeing and not because you're angry with her, whatever, but just do it. However long you need to calm down about the whole situation, just do it.

[drenrin2120]

That'd be pretty evil of her. I mean, I told her to just tell me if she thinks she needs to let me down easy. Would've been a hell of a lot easier if she had just told me she was done. Wouldn't have been a month deep into this mess.

The open relationship thing caught me completely off guard. It didn't really make sense to me why she said that. But then, the last three days have been different from the rest of the month. She's been far less 'warm' to me. And you're right about those status updates to a point. I'll probably stop using fb for a while, but honestly, that one I mentioned was just kinda right in my newsfeed, glaring at me when I woke up. I don't go looking for disappointment.

[Prpl_Mage]

Sounds like she needs to figure out how to live with herself before she can live with someone else or something. She clearly had something in mind if she became distant and less warm and began saying wierd things. Maybe she's confused and heard someone say one single thing that made her think. And sadly - that's mostly all it takes for the glass to break.

If she didn't want a serious relationship and said that she needed to focus on school - it kinda sounds like she's trying to distance herself from you a little, like needing more space to figure out things.
But then again as with most of these things - we don't know her or what's going on between you. But what I do know is that this is her loss for missing out on a guy that cares.

[drenrin2120]

Thanks, purp. I think you might be right. I'm not too keen on her close friends, I can only imagine what some of them may have said to her. But then, it's not my place to tell her she's wrong for feeling a certain way. I think she probably does need and want space to herself. I know school is very important to her. I just wish this knowledge could've happened before **** got crazy tense between us.

Can't say I'll be a level-headed nice guy if someone else pops up into her life in the near future. That's just natural, though.

Just re-read what I wrote. I seem pretty clingy in it. Gotta say, you know, I can take a hint, believe me, but there simply was no hint. It was very clearly, "stay, just one more night". which turned into a week, into a month. Now it's very clearly "Well, cya! Have a good one. Turn that frown, upside down!" And that change came, seemingly over night. ees crazy.

I wish I knew what the hell went through you girl's heads.

Anyway, I wasn't really hoping for advice, though I appreciate it. I was just mainly venting. I've only got one friend I can talk to who will say something more intelligent than, "**** sucks, bro. Let's get drunk."

[Rahl]

My fiancée of four years did much the same thing to me. I loved her with everything in me and we were going to get married last summer but almost exactly a year ago she left me because she wanted to be on her own. I think the commitment scared her more than she was willing to admit all that time. She saw that there were things she wanted to do with her life that she couldn't do with me dragging her down. She never really dated a lot before we met and I think she saw that in the end. Some people just take a look at themselves and then take a look at you and see that they want freedom that commitment wont allow, and they think to themselves about all of the things the COULD be missing out on, and decide whats important from there. Those things were more important than I was and she left me. For just over a year now I haven't been able to talk to anyone else or to keep my mind off of her for an entire day, and I have't taken off the necklace she gave me since she left me. Sometimes we're less important than we ever thought we could be, sometimes it feels like we're just not enough and it will feel like that for a very long time. My best advice is to let her go on with her life, if she loves you she'll realize what shes missing, if not she'll be happier and eventually you will meet someone who is right for you.

[drenrin2120]

I'm sorry to hear that. It makes me feel like I shouldn't be complaining. I know it's not the end of the world. There's more to it that's just not worth sayin.

I look at it the way you do, except for the part about being important. Just 'cuz someone doesn't want to be with you, doesn't mean they don't care. The hardest thing to do is be selfless. Especially in this manner, when it's someone you love. But you just can't be bitter about the way someone feels. That's just gonna destroy you in the end. No one's saying you have to forget everything. Or pretend it didn't happen or it didn't mean anything. Maybe you should take your own advice, as well.

I feel like I've opened a can of worms.

[Rahl]

Well its not meant to demean the time we had together, at one point I was enough for her, I was more important. But then she decides I'm not anymore. I've always had a saying, "Do whats important to you." And ultimately people do and people like me get to find out what mattered most. Its not a bad thing that I wasn't more important, it does hurt but it doesn't make her a bad person. It just means I wasn't enough, and I just need to find someone who thinks I am.

But then again I've always been a helpless and doomed romantic.

[drenrin2120]

ehh...

reopen the thread 'cuz whatevs.