Make a wish and have it horribly corrupted!

[Darrellito]

Granted, now lets move on.

I wish people could emote out in the real world, like a  would replace a person's head when they smiled rul big.

[zuhane]

Granted. But you get herpes and someone throws a javelin through your face.

I wish skittles had every single colour and shade in the entire world and every single different shade represented a different flavour.

[_JeT_]

Granted! You eat the white skittle! It's potassium cyanide flavored!

I wish there was a good Final Fantasy, with a number after 9. (Excluding the Tactics series)

[Uberpwn_w00t]

Granted. When you arrive in the spore universe, you are immediately tackled by a large penis with legs. It rapes you, making strange monkey noises with every thrust. After that incident, you will never be the same. You fall into a spiraling depression. You cannot live with the shame!

Three weeks later, lucas_irineu commits suicide.

In lovng memory, lucas_irineu... Spornography got the best of him.

I wish my fingertips could light up, like E.T.

[mironic]

granted but its burns int he inside when you do.


i wish for skittles.

[Darrellito]

Granted, then your hit by a bus.

I wish within the next year, weed was legalized.

[zuhane]

Granted. But everything in the entire world except weed becomes illegal including basic necessities such as bread and water. You can have as much weed as you want but lighters are
illegal, so are roll-up cigs, so is your house, so are all your clothes etc.

I wish I could fire mackerels out my face at people I don't like!

[mironic]

granted but now you have zits that cant be stoped


i wish people would stop being so mean to me...

[mironic]

granted but you turn into me


i wish that someone somewhere somehow somewho could... give...me.... s....s.....s....s..a stake of chocolat =D

[_JeT_]

Granted, b...b...b...b...b... but chocolat is a new type of dildo... You play with it, while I eat some chocolate.

I wish someone would shoot me

[Darrellito]

Granted, but it turns out your the eternal prophet, A multiversatal prophet to all religions. Every god takes turns f*cking Earth up, one worse then the other. Then they destroy us into non existence.

I wish System Of A Down would come out with an album with all the original members still in the band, and the music still was the same genre.

[_JeT_]

Granted, but you become deaf, and cannot listen to it. You learn from everyone else that it is like the second coming of Jesus.

I wish I could get the last three jobs, in the new FFT.

[Musha]

Granted, but you inexplicably lose every other job you had up until this point.

I wish I could walk through walls.

[Musha]

Granted.  You know how I am here, but such terrible knowledge drives you mad, and you spend the rest of your life in a padded cell at a maximum security asylum.

I wish "Agent of Destruction" was a valid career choice.

[_JeT_]

Granted, but it is one of those jobs, where you have to be a snobby rich kid, go to an Ivy league college(or something similar), and use your connections. I assume you do not meet any of these requirements...

I wish my hair would cut itself, at the right length, as I hate going to the barber.