Charas Pub

[X_marks_the_ed]

Ed: Fine, then! If you can't stay, I'll clone you using ZKX's DNA!
*Starts tuning a machine that came out of nowhere.*
*Machine spawns a Rhino.*
Ed: Behold! CKirbyX!

[Tomi]

Tomi: Now, honestly, did we really need another of those?
CKX: I suddenly have the urge to masturbate.
Ed: Now how does a rhino masturbate?
Tomi: Very carefully.  Rhinos are pretty strong...

[Archem]

Archem (as voiced by David Hayter): Metal Gear...
Bluhman (as voiced by Dave Chappelle): What's the square root of this apartment?!
Ed (as voiced by Gilbert Gottfried): AFLAC!!!

[coasterkrazy]

CK: My God.. it's so ugly... there's clearly FAR too much ZKX in there and not enough me.
CKX: *Begins charging CK*
CK: OH GOD NO. *Runs*
Ed: That's what you get for insulting her!
*CK and CKX freeze in place, CK turns around*
CK: Um, HER!?
Ed: Yeah, she has feelings too ya know! Don't ya, ya big beautiful rhino girl? *Pets CKX*
CK: HER!?
CKX: YEAH, I'M A GIRL.
Tomi: Oh, so you don't have to be careful then?
CKX: Well... lemme explain...
CK: *Slips away in the conversation, headed towards the CEO's building*
CKX: ...and so that's just about all there is to tell you.
Tomi: 0_o

[Bluhman]

Bluhman: CKX... I'm sorry, but I must introduce you to my agent.
CKX: Huh? what'd I do, and who would it be?
Bluhman: 1, you existed. As a rhino. Rhino's must die for their precious horns. And 2, it's Gannon.
Gannon: YOU MUST DIE!!! *Boom. Boom.*
Ed: No... NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Bluhman: ... *Cue maniacal laughter* Hehehehehh... Hahahahahaaaaaa AHAHAHAHAAAAA HAAHAHAHAAAAAARRRGGG!!!! -Eh?
Agents: Sorry, but we're arresting you for animal cruelty.
Bluhman: What!? I didn't do it! I want my lawyer!
Bluhman's Lawyer: Killing endangered animals? This is illegal, you know...
Bluhman:... God damn you.
Bluhman's Chef: MY CAKES WILL BURN! *Fwoo*
*Bluhman get's shoved into prison car. Somebody begins to play a violin.*
Ed: Serves him right...
Tomi: I have heard things that I don't really want to know about from that rhino. You know, I think he might've done the right thing.
Ed: Shut up! It was my creation!
Tomi: Ok. So just recreate it.
Ed: Yes... We'll make it faster. Stronger. Less killable by Gannon.
Tomi: Let's get to work!
*Montage begins*
Razor: You know... Admittedly, this would've probably made a slightly more interesting movie.
Tomi: How would you know? The guy who's writing this post hasn't been here for the past thousand days.
Razor: True.

[coasterkrazy]

Ed: Okay, luckily I keep extra samples of ZKX DNA on me. Now, I just gotta get CK again... CK... CK? HEY WHERE DID HE GO?
Tomi: Looks like he left...
Ed: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! NO NO NO!!! Hey, wait! *Opens mouth wide... nothing happens...* NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Lucas: Ed, how many times do we have to go through this?
Ed: Well, I just really miss- hey, wait, have you been here this whole time?
Lucas: I guess I have... huh...

-------------------------------------

Bluhman: Lemme out! Lemme out! I didn't do it I tell ya!
MyStEriOUs vOIcE: Perhaps I may be of some assistance...

[X_marks_the_ed]

Ed: It is complete! Behold! CKX with Iron Rod Through Head!
CKXWIRTH: Ow.
Ed: Oh, it's also a boy now. Thank you to whomever donated the partsArchem.<.<
Archem: Hey! When did that happen!?

[A Forgotten Legend]

AFL: *Appears out of nowhere* ...*sings musical number*...*is sawed in half* Ow.

[Archem]

Archem: *does things*

[X_marks_the_ed]

Ed: *watches*

[Tomi]

Tomi: *walks up to the bar* This is still a pub, right?  *roof collapses*
Razor: *under rubble* Ohh the good ol' days...

[X_marks_the_ed]

Ed: Our movie has been edited and will be in theatres sometime next Tuesday.
Lucas; What do we do now?
Ed: We WAIT!
*Ed sits with stupid look on face.*

[Archem]

*Archem sits with a smart look on his face*
Ed: What are you so smug about?! *shoots Archem in the face*
Lucas: Goodness! He won't be able to see the premier!
Ed: Damn, you're right! We need to take this man to a hospital!
Bluhman: He's a ghost. His eyes are the only part that survive, and they're sure to go to some mystery box and rebuild his body.
Ed: *shrugs* True. Then again, we need a ridiculous adventure to occupy our time for the next week. Off to the hospital! Or morgue. I'm not sure how it works with ghosts.

[X_marks_the_ed]

==ALTERATE ENDING A==
*Archem sits with a smart look on his face*
Ed: What are you so smug about?! *shoots Archem in the face*
Lucas: Goodness! He won't be able to see the premier!
Ed: Damn, you're right! We need to take this man to a hospital!
Bluhman: He's a ghost. His eyes are the only part that survive, and they're sure to go to some mystery box and rebuild his body.
Ed: o.o Archem's a ghost?

==ALTERATE ENDING B==
*Archem sits with a smart look on his face*
Ed: Archem, what does the scouter say about his power level? *shoots self in the face.*
Lucas: Goodness! He won't be able to see the premier!
Archem: Damn, you're right! We need to take this man to a hospital!
Bluhman: He's undead. He's just headless now. But it's a shame he won't get to see our movie.
Ed: ...

==ALTERATE ENDING C==
*Archem sits with a smart look on his face*
Ed: Whatwhat, you are a cactus man sitting finely doodly in yer chair. *shoots Archem in the face*
Lucas: Good lordy, what we do, I say! He no longer contains a pair of eye with which to see the creation we have created.
Ed: I don't seem to understand this correctness of the correct. Whatwhat we see his healthman?
Bluhman: Be a spirit, be he. I see we can salvage from cardboard in the form of a square, he saved will be.
Ed: Bored, time is. I fly!



Everyone else: ...
Ed: They'll look better when it comes out on DVD.

[coasterkrazy]

Bluhman: HEY HOW DID I GET OUT OF JAIL? MUST HAVE BEEN THAT FANTASTIC GET OUT OF JAIL FREE CARD THAT THE CRAZY VOICE GUY GAVE ME.

</plothole fix>