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How to get rid of the so called n00bs

Hints on avoiding forum clogging

by Gary Kertopermono

Everyone knows them, the so called n00bs. But what is a n00b? Where does this word come from? Why is someone a n00b? But best of all, how do I get rid of n00bs? I will try to answer each question, but it might not be the right answer.

What is a n00b?
There are several definitions of the word n00b. Most of them are wrong. I'll give some statements of the word n00b, and if they are wrong or right.

A n00b is always annoying.
This one is true. Every n00b causes himself to be a n00b by doing annoying.

Every annoying person is a n00b.
This one is not true. There are a lot of annoying people who aren't. N00bs always tend to be annoying.

A n00b is always a 8 year old kid.
I don't really know if this one is true or not, but I don't think this is true, because on every situation there is an exeption. But it is arguable that n00bs older than 8 year are exeptions.

You aren't a n00b anymore if you have a high enough post count.
That is not true. N00bs also tend to spam much just to get their post count up.

Every new person is a n00b.
This is the biggest mistake people make. New persons don't always have to be n00bs.

A newbie is the same as n00b.
Not true. A newbie is a newcomer, a n00b is an annoying person.

A newb is the same as n00b.
Another difficult one. I don't really think they are the same, but I do think that a newb is something between a newbie and a n00b. But because they sound the same doesn't mean they are the same.

Defenition of the word n00b.
Sources from n00bstories.com:

What is a n00b (not noob)? The definition we're using on this site is a player who may or may not be new to a game, but insists on doing brainless things, especially things that hinder the team. Those who are defined by this site as "n00bs" will also refuse to listen to words of wisdom or, even worse, berate those who try to help.

n00bstories.com is your home for stories and tales of those who do stupid things in online games. It's also a place to vent your frustrations for those who don't play as a team and those who are a detriment to teamplay. The migration of gaming to Internet play has introduced a whole new breed of idiots for us to deal with.

We at n00bstories.com do understand that everyone was a newbie once, and those who are polite, those who go through whatever practice is supplied, and those who read a few forum threads before posting their question are NOT the target of this site. We applaud and respect you.

Where does the word 'n00b' come from? Well, I don't know for sure, but I have some theories:

Noob Saibot
Everybody knows the game Mortal Kombat. It's a bloody beat 'em up with lots of secrets, including Noob Saibot. My theory on this is that Noob can mean two things: Boon (spell Noob Saibot backwards and you will read 'Tobias Boon', also seen in the subways in MK3) and Nobody. So I think that n00b comes from 'nobody', since Noob Saibot is nobody ('I do not exist').

Newbies
The words newbie and n00b look alike. It may come because n00bs were often newcomers.

1337
Everybody who uses 1337 knows what it means: leet, or elite. But 1337 has become more unpopular over the years. It is also know n00bs tend to use 1337 too often. Maybe these two words have something in common. You can see that the o's are replaced by 0's.

How to get rid of n00bs. This is the moment you all been waiting for. But first, let me tell you that these things can't always make a diffrence, and most of the points are to change the n00bs you already have. You can't stop n00bs from existing. But anyways, here are some tips.
  • First of all, STOP using the word 'n00b'. If you keep calling them like that, they stay acting like a n00b. You can also call them idiots or stupid person, just like you would say that to someone else. The biggest mistake of people is that they always think insulting them back stops them from acting 'n00bish'. That is a big mistake, because it can escalate.
  • Make spam free zones, zones where you can only enter if you don't spam. Most forums allow you to create groups and give them exclusive access to certain forums. Also, most forums can auto-assign new members to a group. You as an administrator can take someone out of a group.
  • Don't make a 'n00b group'. That will cause n00bs to act even more 'n00bish'.
  • Don't ban people quickly. That too is a stupid thing. It won't change that person.
  • If you really get annoyed by him, you can always send a nice letter. Nice letters are better than "SCREW YOU N00B!!!" letters.
Also, here are some hints for newbies who don't want to be called n00b:
  • Don't double post. There is mostly an edit button.
  • Don't spam. You may post a lot of posts, but don't post 20 posts in 30 minutes. Also, posts with less than 3 words mostly are considered spam.
  • Don't flame. It's mostly against the rules, and it really makes you look like a retard. Also note that your IP is registered, and even if you don't have one IP-adress, they can still backtrace it.
Conclusion I hope most people learn from it and DON'T diss it. If you have additions, you can always mail me at GaryCXJk@msn.com, and I'll try to add some things.

One last note, this document can only be hosted on the Charas-Project site. If you find it elsewhere, you can notify me. I will say if I granted permission. This comment must remain unchanged.

Gary Kertopermono

Version 1.0 written on 29 October 2003